


danganronpa: ultimate despair oblivion | dr:udo | HIATUS

by idore14



Series: danganronpa: ultimate despair oblivion | dr:udo [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Talentswap (Dangan Ronpa), Gen, M/M, Multi, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idore14/pseuds/idore14
Summary: kokichi ouma, a talentless highschooler, gets locked up in a mysterious apartment for a year and a half. right after miraculously making his escape, he suddenly realizes the world isn't a place it used to be - and that he has to find a way to survive in an apocalyptic towa city, with blood thirsty children on the hunt for adults.this is a talentswap and gameswap based alternate universe. check my toyhouse @idore for arts and redesigns.!! originally posted on my danganronpa amino @idore !!
Relationships: Gokuhara Gonta & Oma Kokichi, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko & Oma Kokichi, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko & Pekoyama Peko, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi & Togami Byakuya, Oma Kokichi & Utsugi Kotoko, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Series: danganronpa: ultimate despair oblivion | dr:udo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806457
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh yes, finally time to bring my baby to ao3! my main motivation was to be able to share the story with my mutuals and people outside amino, but also the fact that i really wanted to enter a wider fanfiction stage in general. i'm finally feeling confident enough to do so with my beloved series!
> 
> MIND that the first chapter was originally posted on june 28th 2019 - every chapter of dr:udo is a huge development for me! it's been getting new chapters rarely, but i'm happy to announce that i'll be postong more frequently from now on!
> 
> i hope you enjoy it!! comments and constructive criticism are always welcome and appreciated! (though try to give the latter on the newer chapters only, since the first ones are pretty old and don't reflect my current writing style that well anymore;,)

it's... sometimes a little terrifying, how well can a human being adapt to things. even the most absurd, crazy situations. conditions, that would make most casually-living human beings shudder and mayybe get some of em' nice nightmares. but hey, guess what? i'm one of those grey, casual, not-important-at-all people nobody gives a single damn about. and i'm just fine, living my ass in a warm lockdown.

it's now... all that i have of the world.

it's shitty and small, i'd say.

it's just a double room apartment, after all! like, sure, it's prettier and cleaner than any place i've ever slept in and probably will ever sleep in through my entire life, but it's... still a prison. just that. and no matter how luxurious is the cage you buy may be, your tiny, cute canary will have no space to fly either way. there is only one way out: you should give up and fry the damn bird.

i'm kokichi ouma. and i'm just some typical dude you'd probably find in every orphanage. formed a group of delinquents despite being the physically weakest kid in that entire hell-of-a-place; making alot of mess since born, could be probably described shortly as 'little shit' by most adults. also i guess my head's good with leadership. with a while of thought, i can make anyone do anything for me, willingly or not, i don't care. and i'm pretty good with pranks, i guess.

well, accenting that with 'i guess' probably equals saying 'orphanages suck. i guess'. pfft, the former phrase was already true, after all!

ah, you may wonder: if he's such a great mastermind, what's he doing locked in one stupid apartment for eighteen months? how didn't he find a way out? the hell did he do to be locked in the first place?

well, you see, there is also one more thing i'm good at. and it's lying. to myself, either. and as you know that, i will gladly answer the question: duh, of course i know what's going on! and it sure isn't anything wrong or dangerous or life-threatening! i'm sure help will come one day and i'll safely get back to my little, cozy room in the orphanage! or literally anywhere else, at least outside, so i'd see some sky!

...if that didn't sound fake to you, brains, then let me emphasize: that was a lie. one i unwillingly feed myself every single day when i wake up in this damned place.

the truth is, i... investigated the entire apartment from top to bottom, countless times. and i mean /countless/. and i mean /entire/. and it... t-there's nothing. it's just an apartament, except the entrance door and windows are sealed. the only thing that lowkey seems to come from behind the door are the meals - three times a day, provided to me with no word through a small chink placed nearby the entrance, kinda like the one you'd use for letters. is that the kidnapper? their minion? someone else? whoever the fuck that is, there is no way to communicate with them. i tried casual talk, little messages, even morse code or shit and millions of other things, but... nothing worked.

it seems someone really wants me away, for some reason.

and like, sure, i'm not the purest baby boy you could have, but i'm also not like, the absolute worst? there are surely much worse people that would require locking away. why wasting space on some ugly, but pretty harmless - rat?

that and many other questions bother me every single day, as i obey the rules of this tiny world of mine, in the same time struggling to understand it and tear it apart, tear it, so i'd see its fucking atoms. you see, having a hyperactive brain isn't so colorful. i always need something to occupy my stupid self with if i don't want to drown in abyss of what if's, why's, how's and other useless theories i know i could produce with enormous speed no problem, if i only allowed myself to. so far, i was keeping myself together, and some quirks of this place... kinda helped. as if they knew they were having some problem kid there. kid, who would drive himself crazy once bored.

so, for instance, my meals would be something different every day, like they were encouraging me to write down the pattern. new movie dvd's, books, mangas and music cd's would appear continuously, once i finished all that were previously given to me. i'd prefer having a portable console or something video game-related, but i didn't turn any of these presents down. hell, they even left a few fake 'tips to the outside world': being some lame, apparently new fashion magazines filled with busty females (in case you're wondering, i'm not really into girls, so i saw no value in them either way), a couple history books with ripped out pages (those were random ones, taken away to pique my interest. they had no meaning) and some... white-and-black bear plushie, that i found strangely adorable at first sight. it kinda looked like two different teddy bears cut in half and stitched together - one being the white, kind teddy, and the other being some black beast-

see, see? they have me there. i have no choice but to give in and dive into whatever they're giving to me. and i /know/ i have to do that, otherwise i'll die of boredom in this hole.

believe me or not, i soon began coping pretty well through all of this. at first, ate only as much of the meals as i absolutely had to - couldn't risk they were poisoned, of course. later on, when i realized they really weren't, though, i couldn't reject food. who knew what awaited me on the outside? as far as i was never much of a huge cousine lover, i knew i needed energy, something to keep my mere muscles on the run. in situations as such, one can't count on their street fighters buddies, like i normally would. i had to be prepared for the absolute worst in case i were to miraculously get out of this place.

i mean, it sure can't be something horrible going out there... it's probably just me being paranoid, as i have no internet, tv transmission, nor radio signal, no connection with the outside world at all. it's almost like... other than my little, shitty apartment with no explanation, nothing exists anymore.

...

pfft, yeah, right. the mighty /end of the world/ would be happening while i'm sitting my ass in this adorable cage, obediently claiming three meals a day and cuddling that teddy bear they gave me? bullshit! if it were the end of the world, i'd /be/ there to laugh at it in its face. i'm certain of that, just as much as the fact that my unknown parents were petty idiots.

but hey. little did i know, /my/ true end of the world was just beginning.

in three...

two...

one...

loud crashing sound pulls me out of lecture - that's one of those famous stephen king's horrors by the way. i don't usually enjoy reading as much, but i'll take it with no alternative.

loud, scrapping, ear-itching thing continues, like a crowbar against a sidewalk. 

maybe i overheard, i think immediately in childish denial. maybe i really went fucking insane. nothing like this has ever happened here before. it never does. it never will.

you know, many times i've been thinking about the moment when i'd get rescued, let go or... killed. whatever would follow opening the door, that has been shut tight ever since i woke up in here. but once something as unusual as that actually strikes, i'm purely denying it.

seeing someone behind the door.  
seeing something behind the door.  
seeing anything outside the damn door.

...this... this sounds like fantasy.

...and then three sharp, claw-like blades tear their way to the inside.

i don't remember much from the second before he got through the door, outside of a light laugh and a dry: "no, thank you." that unwillingly left my lips.

in the moment the door falls to the ground, i know i'm screwed - as the thing standing before me isn't anything from the previous, big world i had by my feet earlier in my life. it's something i slept through calmly under my blanket, as a prisoner. it's something that probably, at this point, finds itself better on this earth, than i do.

it's my one-way ticket to escaping. my cozyness, my stupid room, sanity, normality.

and dear god, don't i take it.

\---

okay, one tip for fighting these assholes: they're... fucking dumb. seriously.

i can't feel my legs when i slowly stand up from the table, trying not to look in the... creature's eyes. i have some experience with homeless dogs and uh... bears can't be much different, right? because... this /is/ a bear, correct? mayhaps some experiment that's on the run? oh, oh! maybe it's a new species? but the resemblance of it and the plush i have in my bedroom is undeniable. what's the deal with that? why does it stand on two legs? don't bears prefer to walk on all fours? maybe it's, in fact, a mutated human? are furries still a thing? maybe it's some kind of costume?-

so many questions, dear god. most of them are more than dumb, but i'm accustomed - i tune them down like a boring tv program, focusing my sight somewhere on the animal's armed paws, examining them. i'm pretty good at that, pushing things away, i mean. were it not that, i probably would've hanged myself by now.

"step by step..." it's more of a soundless movement of my lips rather than real words i'm saying. outside of a pile of useless crap, my brain obviously notices one thing: the door. there is no door anymore. i /can/ escape. the only thing on my way is the same asshole bear-thing that opened it for me in the first place.

i finally force to take a silent step to the side.

and the bear fucking SPEEDS at me, those sharp claws and sickly glowing red eye along with the even more terrifying, dead button one definitely aimed at my throat.

"shit, shit, shit!" i curse and my fugitive senses immediately respond, causing my legs to work. i deftly run to the other side of the table, my thoughts going crazy over forming a clear escape plan with having an apparently crazy/sick animal or a very edgy fursuiter on the run after me. whatever are its true intentions, this thing has more than one blade /sewn/ into its hands and i wouldn't trust something like that in a billion years.

i'm ready to have a cat and mouse chase around the table, like in some horribly cheap comedy. that's obviously what's gonna happen, no? dear god, good thing i have experience. you think how did i deal with bullies and mean asses in the orphanage and school? of course escaping! one more thing i'm pro at, hah. sometimes i wonder why there's no ultimate talent for me-

...but- no. no, the bear doesn't turn to chase me from the other side, the one i'm running towards to. it- it takes the route around the table, the same one as i did, leaving me with a clear road to freedom.

which i take and don't complain at all, though on the back of my mind i do call the animal a couple of nice names. in less than a second, my feet already stand on the fitted carpet on the hall.

which... is empty.  
cool. i guess.

well, uh, this is better than being dead for sure? now, i should get out of this building, as far away from the bear thing as possible. and call the police. and inform other people. and get back to the orphanage and yell that i'm alive, to annoyance of everyone. listen, i may be stupid, but no way i'm letting someone get hurt because of this mess. i'll make sure nobody stumbles upon it...

or... them.

there's... there's more. yes. i'm not dreaming. i'm perfectly awake. even more of those bear-thingies, walking down the hallway in some distance on my right. they appear to be looking for something... someone.

i don't wait for them to notice me at all. instead, i soundlessly skip down the other hallway infront of me, thanking whoever had that idea for the floor carpeting. it muffles the sound of my steps perfectly.

this place seems like a hotel but not really? the walls are totally blank and everything looks super-plain and boring. suits an office a little more. maybe it's-

i don't get a moment to think it through, because i hear some weird laugh and in a second, a whole batch of bears floods the corridor behind me. one of them stares right into my eyes as i look over my shoulder and i swear, i swear it's talking to me:

"there you aaaare!~"

and then heavy footsteps of an entire dozen of them chase mine soundless ones. echo the running creatures spread barely allows me to hear something, even my own breath and bangs of my accelerating heart, but in the end i spot it, a faint echo: metallic clacking. like some mechanism. and the way it's repeating matches with the thumps of their heavy paws...

...robots. they're all robots. they're real, moving teddy bears and they want me gone for some reason. are /they/ the captors? are /they/ the minions? i don't think so. i'd hear those steps through my door, they're heavy as hell. and their giggling and 'breathing' is pretty loud, either. and they /all/ have blades for their claws, i have no doubt.

this situation is so ridiculously impossible, that i strongly refuse to try to answer any of the horrifying w&h questions right now: who, when, why, how, what? it's too much for me right now, too fucking much and too fast! for now, i need to stay alive and not fall dead before i know anything!

i rush into some sort of main hall - it's wider and brighter, for sure. and still, no other human beings. this should terrify me more than it actually does, but i don't care too much at that moment, only taking a mental note on that.

i can't see the stairs, i don't have time to look for ones in a building i don't know. so i choose the other option. it's risky as shit, but i sprint towards the elevator that i have in sight and push the button.

"c'mon, c'mon!" i repeat to myself, lightly bouncing in place. my legs aren't that shaky yet, powered by adrenaline, but my head's what's the mess. dear god. the giggles, they're getting closer... it's not the first time i'm escaping from someone /really/ meaning to kill me, but today i'm mentally defeated by the unknown.

i have no tiniest idea what is going on and why are there robotic bears after me. this is what makes it the most terrifying.

after what seems ages, the elevator bell rings and i slip inside as fast as i can, just to murder the button to the first floor with a million of hopeless pushes. i have never seen the door close so slowly in my entire life, goddammit! now i'm forced to look straight in their twisted smiles, half good, half wicked, their blades/claws, their-

door shuts. elevator quietly starts going down.

all i hear is blood rushing in my ears like an ocean and my heavy, shaky breath.

...

...

what is... happening?...

\---

if i thought i was scared by then, then i had no damned idea what awaited me when i stepped out the elevator.

because first sight was...

blood. bodies. blood. more... bodies. men. women. bodies. b-blood...

a field. of dead bodies.

i turn my head mechanically to the side, where the… sounds come from.

bears. white and black bears, slaughtering other, still alive, still screaming, crying, begging, hopeless... people. all with their claws and... a-and... and...

whoever you are. no matter how tough you think you are. no matter how many adults told you you're shit and bad and no good. no matter from how many monstrosities you ran from before... this sight, this second, is what changes your heart. once and forever.

and then you just know there's no turning back to where you came from.

i barely feel a stare something gave /me/ for a change, before i turn to the side to see one of them... meters from me, one meter, half-

"BREAK!"

something blue hits the robot straight into the eye and it falls to its knees, then to its face, to finally remain silent for good. it doesn't move anymore. and the same voice, a tender, concerned female one, beams from somewhere closer to me: "hey. hey, can you hear me? hey!"

i shrug awake, realizing my entire body's shaking and i can't do a single thing about it. it just /moves/, reacting to all it sees and hears and smells and which i can't, just can't stop from...

"are you the captive?" the girl continues. she can't be much older than me, but her soft, worried voice makes me think of an older sister that i never had. i try to lift my eyes and look into her serious, crimson ones. her hair's grey like cigarette smoke and she's wearing a braid and a fringe, along with oval glasses, that only make her look more intimidating. adding to that - a black suit with some pin, that reads... 'future' in japanese. a-and is that a sword she's carrying on her back or?...

oh god. the room is spinning. i'm gonna vomit.

"hey, please listen to me. are you the captive?" she speaks even slower again, and i realize there's tension in her voice, too. she's scared. terrified. as much as i am. maybe even more. her iris' shine with knowledge. she's does know what's going on.

more people in black suits skip out of the second elevator she presumably went out of, either, chasing towards the murderous bears. i struggle to focus on her question, but the bodies and sickening odor of blood-soaked carpet don't help at all.

captive... captive. captive!

"y-yes, i'm the captive!" i let out, just as she opens her mouth to ask yet again. "i-i've been... kept locked on the f-fifth... sixth... o-or seventh... f-fuck that, in this building on some higher floor!" i'm stuttering like a bitch, but i don't give a shit. i just want her to help me. i want her to take me home, so we can talk about her cool sword. and drink some hot chocolate. i mean, i'd take chocolate, she looks more like a coffee/tea type...

the girl nods and breathes slowly, straightening. i didn't realize she was leaning to be on my face level until now. no surprise, she's much higher in reality.

"peko pekoyama, future foundation division fourteen. we're here to escort you somewhere safe, kokichi ouma." she speaks, pulling on a gentle smile, as she pushes... a megaphone into my hands. i almost drop it, but she doesn't comment on it. outside, she's only throwing a: "i think you'll need it on the way."

\---

"o-on the way?" i manage to get through my dry throat, as i look down at the device. of course i see it's not some casual megaphone - there's some sort of control panel on its side, displaying - what i assume - eight functions of it:

BREAK⁽¹⁾, KNOCKBACK⁽²⁾, DANCE⁽³⁾, PARALYZE⁽⁴⁾, MOVE⁽⁵⁾, BURN⁽⁶⁾, DETECT⁽⁷⁾ and LINK⁽⁸⁾.

each has a different color, which sure looks aesthetically pleasing. y-yeah. that's it. it's some sort of... megaphone-looking gun. it has a trigger and a-all that...

i clench my hands on it, like it's my lifeline, feeling some weird sort of connection. the quick investigation of the device helps me ultimately jump out of numbness and consciously try and ignore the black suit people fighting the beasts, as i eye the grey-haired - or peko, what she said her name is. by the way. peko pekoyama? who hurts their kid like that-

"wait, w-what's with the bears? you know who locked me there?... and how do you know my name? what's future foundation?" i'm desperate for answers and peko sees it, but she knows she has no time - that's what i read from the way she bites her lip and looks away. finally, the girl speaks, her tone more serious than before. "listen, i don't have time to tell the story, but i promise you'll get a proper explanation once you're safe. you need to run outside this building and step into the diner that's on the opposite side of the road. there probably /will be/ more monokumas. the bears." i shrug at the name, but she only points at the gun, continuing. "this here, is a hacking gun future foundation created. it shoots electromagnetic waves of code that get to their little robotic brains and hack them. use it as much as you need and get to that diner, okay? some agent of future foundation will be waiting there for you and will show you the further way. if they ask you who you are, say you're the captive and your name, also that i sent you... kokichi, look at me."

i didn't even realize i dropped my gaze at the gun, its colorful controls being the only light in my life right now. m-monokumas... there's more of them. on the streets. everywhere. everywhere on the outside. and i'm... supposed to go out there? alone? a-and fight? just like that? i-i...

i'm not... that strong by myself.  
i'm obviously about to die.

i want to point that out, i want to scream that in her face, and yet, i look down at the gifted weapon with shame, that i'm too weak to use it.

as i fail to follow her plead, i feel a gentle hand grab my chin and lift it, just so i receive a strong smack on the cheek. she basically slapped me. with inhuman strength.

"excuse me." she comments on it, before taking her hands back. i blink, trying to get rid of colorful spots that flutter in my view from the hit. but now i'm listening, my purple, a little annoyed eyes crashing against her red ones. she isn't mad, nor seems guilty, though. that was her intention, to get me focused. "kokichi, we're all scared. i'm as terrified as you are. look at me." peko moves her shoulders, the sword tilting softly on her back. "i'm a kid, just like you. i don't want to have to do any of this with all my might. but there's a need. this is our reality. i'm already learning the rules of this game." she stares at me with such pressure, that i almost physically feel it. "and i believe you're able to, either. just do it. it'll... turn out okay." he voice softens a tiny bit, and i figure it has to be something someone told /her/ before in a moment of her weakness.

mayhaps... everyone begins as a filthy, disgusting rat one day.

i look at her for a longer while, then again, down at the gun. i hear the other 'future foundation' or whatever members shout at each other and the monokumas. bullets are shot, some blood splatters, fresh smell of iron fills the air. i don't even... i-i don't even want to see whose wounds those are.

those people are here because of me, it hits me. they're getting hurt now /because of me/. what did i do to deserve a rescue team in the first place? for fuck's sake, what am i doing?!

i grab the megaphone more like a gun should be held, nodding firmly at the girl. pekoyama seems even relieved, as i gift her with a slightly smug smile. it should be probably confusing after how pathetic i was in shock a few seconds ago, but she doesn't seem to mind. "well, i'm pretty good at games, so one in real life can't be so much harder, can it?" i frown lightly, unable to shove the little jokes aside. my hands are still shaking, who am i kidding? this can't be easy. it won't be. 

kichi, where's your head? you can lie to yourself, of course!

y-yeah, right!

diner on the other side of the street and some robotic teddy bears on the way. can't be hard! i can handle! i got a cool hacking gun, after all!

asides the calming phrases i allow myself to think and claim, on the back of my mind i really... really wish peko could come with me. she seems able to use that sword of hers pretty well. hell, she may be even stronger than any of my previous pawns! but then we hear some giggling and another horde of monokumas appears at the back of the reception. there has to be some other door out there, but that's not my problem from now on.

pekoyama nods, about to throw herself in a fight to help her people, judging from how dark her eyes are turning when she spares a look their way. the last thing i hear her say before i'm about to run towards the main entrance behind us, is: "if little lies are what helps you survive, go for them. but remember hope cannot be faked at any cost."

she gets her sword, a sharp, mirror-clean blade out in a second i say: "that... can be arranged. see ya, peko-peko!"

that couldn't have to be hard to realize i was lying, when i was in such a hopeless state. i'm not surprised. she looks like a clever one.

i really wish she could be my pawn on some other world.

she sprints deeper into the reception and i run out the door to my (probable) death.

\---

i... did not even think when i made the video game analogy. it just slipped. maybe it's the fact i haven't played any for so long, or something. because, obviously, i had no idea it would actually look like one.

of course, not from the start.

a couple of bodies already lay on the street when i scoot outside, black, white and red colors everywhere, just like peko said. some of the monokumas are covered in blood. some people are running around, screaming. s-some of the robots chase their victims, blade-like claws reaching out for them...

fear paralyzes my insides and i feel like it's some very bad dream. the way i walk, like through fog. they way everything feels quieter, than it should be for real. the slow pace one of the monokumas is taking when it notices me-

h-huh?

the world's speed gets back to normal in the moment i stare at the control panel of the gun, my eyes almost tearing up from stress. oh god, come on. i can't cry there. i was supposed to laugh. to laugh in the face of!-

just by the time i realize i have no damn idea what any of these 'truth bullets' or whatever actually do, i settle on the best-sounding to me option: BREAK. gulping down my disgustingly dry saliva is so hard. my hands are shaking. oh god.

i pick the megaphone up and aim. and shoot.

a blueish beam hits the bear. and it really does... stop him for a while. it really works, i think, staring at the device in shock. let's say i uh... was sceptic about this.

the bear continues to run at me though, so i aim again, this time a little more confidently, and shoot. two, three, four times. and the machine crushes to the ground lifeless, right before my feet. i'm fucking breathless.

t-that's it. it's gone. dead. defeated.

my palm is so sweaty on the handle, but i clench my fist on the megaphone and struggle to pull myself together. it's fine. it's okay. i can do this. where's that diner? quick, before others notice me!

there. okay, i see it. it's, what, a hundred meters away? could be better, but it's still, still enough. i can do this. i can!

a few other bears spot me at the time i think that. for /now/ it's three. okay. i aim the gun with a forced smile. "bring it on, c'mon!" - lying to myself, like i'm having fun there... hah, if that only keeps me sane, i don't care!

blue beams reach the robotic animals, taking them down in a few shots. the last one, however, goes bye-bye with only two ones. by the second hit, i hear an artificial bot voice coming from the side of my megaphone: "nice shot".

w-what, does this 'nice shot' thingy allow me to get rid of them quicker? what did i do exactly?

i recall the action as i run down the stairs to hide behind some car. and then i get it. oh shit. oh shit, i know! the eye! the red one! that eye needs to be their weak spot!

my brain feels decent knowing i made the discovery on my own and my steps are a little more fluent when i get closer to the edge - to shoot from behind the corner. i take down the closest monokuma by a quickie into its left eye. "nice shot" - compliments the voice of the megaphone. i... i can't keep a smile off my face. a real smile.

i really made it!

the - probs a little crazy, maybe - grin doesn't fade away when i snipe a good couple of robots from behind the car - deciding to try the other ammo, too. only MOVE and DETECT don't seem to have any visible effect on the bears and i can't figure what they're for just yet, but the rest - oooh yes! now we can talk!

i literally jump forward, when some slightly less dumb bot finally notices me my cover. it immediately gets a taste of bullet number four, the chain reaction shocking two of its brothers that happened to stand nearby in addition. i welcome some fast-forward babies with a lil bit of the red BURN bullet. those who get too close, are uninvited right away with a KNOCKBACK on their faces.

to my surprise, i feel something weird build up on my inside. one, that's real confidence. and two, it's... it's endorphins.

i'm… really having fun.

"KNOCKBACK!" is the first shout i let out, by accident, in surprise that some monokumas almost sneaked at my back. but then i realize, it does fit for the situation. i don't mind. i won't hold myself.

i start to yell out loud the names of bullets i use. at least outside of making me seem like a mentally ill dude, it helps me remember their numbers and placement way quicker, and soon i don't need to look at the control panel to swap between the functions at all. in the same time, i fight with the bears, but also move forward to the goal, the diner. c'mon, i can, /can/ do this! i can! i have to!

"DANCE!" i shoot at some orangish-striped monokuma, and of a sudden, all other bears attend to their little dance party, too, absolutely not minding me anymore, as if they didn't ever bother. oh shit, are those orange guys, like, their bosses? oh holy shit!

i can't help a giggle as i pull the trigger with a gun set to PARALYZE, and almost the entire batch explodes in a chain reaction. i finish off the others with BREAK.

i don't understand a single thing about this world. i was locked for a year and a half, not conscious of anything. i come out, i get a magical hacking gun and i... kill off robotic bears that try to get to every human being in reach. and i'm smiling like an idiot and saying the names of ammo i'm using out loud.

i can't help a chuckle. what the fuck?

this makes so little sense, why... why do i actually enjoy this?

it's probably the feeling of control, isn't it? oh boy, right. probably. maybe it should be obvious. i'm a king and this is my battlefield, my playground, where i can get rid of monokumas in any way i like and they have nothing to say about this... oh god, yes. i like that description. definitely!

i'm killing them off, until the road is clear in my sight. i'm breathing pretty loudly and i can't help that. i'm winded as hell and sweat is dripping down my body, making my shirt stick to my back. i should... probably take off my jacket, but i don't want to risk losing it, or it making me slower in a fight, in case i have to carry it instead. so i just let it stay.

just as i'm about to take a step forward, i feel robotic paws pull me close, to the point i touch my back against that enormous, disgusting maw-

in a matter of instinct, i chose BREAK and press the megaphone to the red eye, before pulling the trigger. "nice shot" compliments the device, as i, moves more shaky than before, push the limp bear off me and stare at it after it falls to the ground. "not really into vore, thank you very much." i mumble, still a little shocked, before i take off towards the diner. the longer i stay here, the bigger chance something will actually feast on my body.

\---

"woosh! another pretty day in an apocalyptic city, am i right?" i rest my arm on the counter and gift the waitress with a click of my tongue and a wink. i can barely reach the countertop, that probably has to be said, because my height's the main reason i look like some ten-year-old. in a school uniform, and carrying a megaphone.

i... probably look fucking insane.

and the woman's sight tells me she thinks alike.

"um... can i help you"? she asks, while her hand fidgets toward the phone she has on the desk. i shake my head, refusing to drop the act entirely, though. "well, i mean, you could call the police or somethin'? there's those robot bears murdering people on the streets?" only then i give a look to the inside of the diner. most customers' eyes are on me. there are couples, families, friends, wearing absolutely casual clothes and chatting in an absolutely casual manner.

yup. i definitely look fucking insane.

they... don't know what i'm talking about, i realize. and that has to mean, that they haven't seen the monokumas yet. and that means...

there's some male yell at the back of the room: "t-there's- a bear! a bear behind the window!" and then the sound of shattered glass and screams spread, as the mechanic steps and laughs of the robots fill the diner. there's absolute panic in a span of what, two seconds?

i quickly squat and press myself against the wall right below the window, to prevent monokumas from seeing me, at least for a while, so i can sort-of recall the layout of the place in my head before i jump in. i know shit about the situation, but even shit's more than nothing - which is... apparently all the people in the diner know, on the other hand.

my instincts don't tell me more.

"scatter, scatter!" i yell at the top of my lungs, getting up and climbing at the countertop, visible to everyone. "scatter so they're confused, c'mon!"

panicked people don't even mind who's giving them the orders, nor why, and so they do just what i need. i can't spot the orange-and-black guy, so i just do what i can with PARALYZE, KNOCKBACK, BURN, and, of course - BREAK. some people crouch under the walls and tables, terrified. some run in circles, in panic, like farm animals during a fire. i soon jump off the counter and throw myself closer to further-standing bears. a-a few people i see on the way... lay dead, fresh blood dripping on the floor tiles. i shut my eyes tight. you can't... always save everyone, i repeat to myself, and when i open them again, i'm already aiming for the next beast, leaning over some couple. one bullet of BREAK, blue light, nice shot, game over.

after i ensure the last monokuma's gone, i jump on some empty table, breathing hardly. ugh, fuck. getting locked for a longer while doesn't do your endurance good, it seems.

"hey, listen up!" i manage to grab attention of the survivors, despite how ridiculous a frail kid holding a megaphone has to seem. "you gotta run and hide somewhere safe, 'kay? they get through most doors, so i'd recommend the underground, but hey, i don't even have an idea what city this is, so i suppose you all know better!" soft shimmer spreads as they look at each other. a couple eye me with multiple emotions - fear, terror, shock, surprise, guilt... of course there's also anger, annoyance, disbelief. that's the true beauty of a group. everyone is so goddamn different.

"what're you waiting for? go!" i shout, gesturing towards the door. i don't even expect such a response - but literally almost everyone obediently runs outside, some stronger helping the weaker, some not minding anyone. some sob. some woman wants to get back inside, crying, but others, maybe her friends, stop her. soon the diner is empty, except for a couple of bodies. i exhale, looking around. okay. alright. now to find...

"...you handled them pretty well, didn't you?"

the voice is some adult's, standing by the door on the back of the place. he's wearing a familiar black suit and a silver pin. there's some blood dripping through his sleeve, but he seems alright asides from that. i only sigh, a little shakily, but manage to put on a not-so-happy smile as i approach him. "well, i guess? i'm the captive by the way. kokichi ouma. stumbled upon that peko-peko gal, too. she's still out there, handling other monokumas." he nods, as he opens the door for me. apparently, i... have to go alone, again. maybe he's waiting for someone else, too?...

"you'll find the back door at the end of the hallway. go outside, then run straight forward to the park. the helicopter will be waiting for you over there." he explains, and i can't help that my eyes glow, not fakely at any point. a-a helicopter? goddammit, i always dreamt to at least see one of those things closely! and now he tells me i'm gonna /fly/ in one?! i can't help but be excited, i mean, come on!

i'm definitely in a better mood since i learnt i have some power in this world, even if i don't fully understand it. and my brain helps, either, consciously pushing away all the horrible things, all the worries, all the questions, lying to itself. and hey, there may be a storm on the inside, but the most important thing is - i'm alright on the outside.

"excuse my curiosity, but... are you an ultimate?" i freeze halfway in my step and give the agent a surprised look before i chuckle. "p-pfft, no? just some random dude from an orphanage over here. also as a hobby, i lead those guys who'd probably shatter your car's windows if they're having a bad day. that is… before the bs that stroke in hope's peak or whatever" i move my arms, which leads to the point when the man actually smiles a little. sourily. "yeah, right. i just thought from the way you spoke to those people- nevermind. go." i nod, returning the smile, before i skip down the hallway.

as far as i don't want to think about it... those words were really like a compliment to me. on the other hand, though? ultimate? me?

...

...maybe in my dream, heh.

or a nightmare.

an ultimate wouldn't be in any better situation here, after all. it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter if i'm a grey, unimportant, plain dude. it only matters if i know how to stay alive.

believe me or not, rats can be ugly and filthy and stinky and all, but one thing's for sure: they know how to survive. and they won't back off even upon most disgusting and thrilling paths.

maybe being a rat wouldn't be such a bad thing here, then.

wish i could be a real rat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally posted on danganronpa amino on july 14th 2019.

you're asking me what was... before, huh.

the things i remember from before being kidnapped, probably. but, that phrase can also apply to my entire life story up till then. you weren't specific enough, honey! and now i gotta tell you eeeverything that happened to yours truly within sixteen years of existence! you fucked that one up, didn't you? nobody would care for some asshole like me, but now you're stuck there listening, before we can roll onto the actual story!

oh dear, what will i do? i don't have a choice, do i? awh noes, it seems i don't!

but, regardless! let the "tales of misadventures of one stupid brat & even more stupid brats" begin!

you see. i'm an orphan. shocking, i know. especially considering i mentioned this a couple of times already. no, seriously, if you hadn't noticed up till now, you're probably either very tired or retarded. pick your poison, i guess.

still, that's it. no parents. no real home. no family or anyone at all. no person related to me could be found as far as i live. the most info i have about them was that they left me in a carton box on the steps of the orphanage one damp night. no letter, no info, just a giggling baby in a box that barely covered it from intense droplets of rain. yup, giggling. that seems to be one of the favourite memoirs of the caretakers in that damned place - to them, it was like proof i was fucked up from the /very/ beginning. barely, what, six-month-old, frail kid, out there in cold, rain and wind - just laughing? apparently it isn't normal for most people. if you tell it like that, it sounds pretty... unusual to me, too, honestly.

but, believe me or not, i... remember that evening. or some of it. i recall how drops of water that made their way inside the box from above were tickling as they fell to my cheeks and forehead. the sides of the box, however, were strong enough to protect me from wind and overall chill it brang. plus, the rest of my body (the rest, i mean, everything asides from the face) was wrapped in a blanket or shit. that's basically why i was laughing. but whatevs. apparently being mentally disabled would be equal to this for some people.

welp, that was the start. since then, they had a /ton/ of problems with me, i heard. first things first, i was underweight for a six-month-old. i was so small, in fact, that they even thought i was way younger than that. only countless hours spent at the clinic told how old i actually was. asides from being pretty wimp, there didn't seem to be many medical issues, so i got safely taken back to the orphanage and assigned some care over there.

even if my first memory was the damn rain, my earliest few years of life are what i know from stories. and like, fuck, i have to trust what others say to me about my own self, don't i? that's annoying.

but anyway, what they tell about little me now iiiiis... that i was. an asshole.

most caretakers /swore/ i did all the shit (metaphorical and literal) the hardest way possible on purpose. threw things off, messed around, bit people, rejected food... some even say i looked like i knew exactly what was going on - that i winked, or chuckled or simply glanced at them the way they took as "gotcha, stupid adult! but what're ya gonna do? i'm just a baby!".

dammit, sometimes i /pity/ i don't remember any of that! it had to be the most consequence-less period of my life! literally heaven!

because, hah, believe it or not - i didn't change much with age. i was still doing all the other things the hardest way possible. and enjoying myself. what for? probs boredom, i guess. it was always hard for me to sit around and stuff, especially when i was younger. now i can occupy myself with a book or whatever, but back then even video games didn't do the trick too well. i required some physical activity and being the pain in the ass to others was there to provide.

my second first memory (second first... nevermind, you get it. it's the first actually /important/ memory.) comes from a moment i pulled out my first real prank, instead of making a mess mindlessly, just for the sake of mess. i don't know if you understand how /crucial/ this is for my entire existence, so let me repeat: first. real. prank. planned activity with a desired outcome.

so it was summer. we (kids 4-10) were sitting in what-we-had of a garden in the orphanage, having a picnic on a used blanket spread over grass. pretty casual stuff. it was warm and we were having a watermelon - well, maybe not having, as much as trying to have with our clumsy little paws. it was pretty cheerful and calm and the caretakers seemed relaxed, too, which didn't happen many times throughout the history of this place.

and then... comes in a me.

me, who has a full stack of watermelon seeds in his mouth and has a very specific idea of what he wants to do with them. namely... spit out into a fruit juice jug literally everyone is using.

yes, that's only a liittle bit unsanitary and disgusting. i'm happy you see my efforts!

so i casually take the jug to pour some yet unpolluted drink to my adorable plastic cup with a drawing of two chickens and a fox, who are all apparently high or drunk or both (i could never tell; my favourite cup by the way), and then, after ensuring everyone's busy with their things, i quickly lean and soundlessly drop all the seeds into juice. and next, just put the jug back. 's a plastic, non-transparent thing by the way. nobody can tell what's actually inside.

that day i came to a conclusion: damn. kids are dumb, okay. but adults? they're even fucking dumber! that also became my motto for most of childhood from the moment on. believe me, i still have a hard time knowing i'm slowly growing into one of the worse category.

because, you know, after seeing how poor kichi struggled so long to get himself some juice - one of the caretakers comes by to help other kids with it! i see how she pours everyone a portion and i'm in heaven from the sight alone. i can barely keep my face straight, the only thing that prevents me from bursting with laughter being that thrilling, amazing tingling of impatience and expectation, one that's only waiting for it all to play out.

because once it does, i'm on cloud nine.

it's addictive. it's amazing. man. i can't keep a grin off my face, even when i'm easily found as the culprit and punished with no dessert for a week. honestly, who cares? the desserts here were either yucky rice puddings or some suspicious fruit jelly that had the said 'fruit' only in the name. i immediately plan on stealing some white chocolate i know one of the women keeps hidden at the bottom of the shelf filled with cooking gloves, one that none of the kids ever use.

it comes... so easily to me. further in the day i occasionally wonder: why? a few kids cried because of me. some even said they hated me - and 'hate' is the most devastating word you can hear a human being use at that age.

but guess what: i liked it. the feeling of control. of having to do something under a radar. the way i could play around without anyone noticing, until it was too late. it took all my attention and focused all my senses, which wasn't so easy to accomplish. it was natural i fell in love with it.

and, most importantly, i liked the way group visibly, clearly as ice, spread into two parts. one that 'hated' me. and one, that was too surprised they were actually appreciative of what i'd done to react properly at most part.

one quiet (mute, i thought before) girl at the very back, staring at her cup in thought, but nothing negative. one blonde dude, whose hair seemed like a lightning hit him, pierced me with glowing eyes and didn't even try to hide it. one tall, red-haired dude, probably way older than me, giving a small, kinda-tired-kinda-proud? stare my way. and a couple more of them.

this, ladies and gents, was the real birth of a beast, that was i. and, hm, maybe a conception of who were to be our pack. but there was still a loong way before us, until we realized we're meant to be.

until then, i played on my own for the sake of murdering my boredom and only awaited their awed stares as prizes. against scoffs and yells of other kids and the staff, but meh. worth it! asides, i'd never do something that would really harm a person. annoy, maybe. upset a little, too. but not hurt. what's the point of having a prank that brings someone pain? you know that lame byword 'a good joke makes both sides laugh'? it's cheesy and all, but it's also terrifyingly accurate. at least for me. human suffering never brings me much joy, to be honest, unlike many think as they know me for a while.

that's how it rolled by. sometime on the way i started going to school, which i quickly learnt to hate. and which learnt to hate me, either. it was still a great place to play out my ideas, some of them i even planned overnight day before. soon a couple of kids realized what they were given fists, fingernails and teeth for, so i sometimes caught bruises and stuff - all as payback for jokes i played on my side. however, it was the worst when some of them attended to group cut my hair with five or four pairs of paper scissors in a school bathroom. they almost stabbed my eyes out and i had little cuts on my face and all. my fringe is a mess since then, but i don't care alot, honestly. just one more proof you really gotta watch your back and don't get caught.

i usually hid any marks with my clothes and kept doing my shit, seemingly not bothered at all. this was some way of mine to deal with all of that, probably. dig my grave even deeper, knowing there was no other path for me. occupy myself, the best i could. this was the point, wasn't it? the only way if i wanted to survive, if i didn't want to allow myself to overthink.

...so yeah. it was hell. i thought that, everyday. my life's a mess either way, so i can at least dive into some prank or a joke, that will liven it up for me. who cares if for seconds, minutes, maybe hours or a day or few: it will work. i just know that.

pranks and plans soon became less like an activity and… more like an escape.

and sometime on the way... they just joined my side. there were nine of them. each different, each hated and at some point - very... very lonely. hah, you know, that's also a thing that makes a group stronger - loneliness. realization there is this, or emotional void. we make it, or we fall. that was what they believed and what i kept up, not seeing a reason why not. it was true to some point, even. not my real motivation at all, but... i couldn't just... turn my back at them, for some reason. the girl i thought was mute, the shiest of the group, even made us matching bandanas sometime. and they all... considered me their leader.

like i'd done something amazing. like i did anything else but coming up with pranks and silly plans. but again, something didn't allow me to say 'screw it' and leave them be. the checkered bandanas only cemented the loyalty they offered me. they were like matching collars for hunting dogs.

we quickly became more than normal pranksters. we caused more than minor trouble, sometimes, even. why? boredom, problems, more and more problems piling up, not only mine now, but also the entire nine's. we soon had done enough so they'd call us delinquents. my motto of not harming anyone was... the only thing that kept those people from going berserk, more often than i'd like to admit. there were times they almost broke it. but never truly happened.

we'd sometimes steal things. vandalize a little. creep out and creep in to some places we definitely shouldn't be in. but, god. adrenaline was our drug and we loved to take enormous swigs, we loved to take more and more. it was the best to cure my boredom, pain and problems, the purest medicine.

and everytime i'd grin at them and say 'i hate you', they'd just either chuckle, or smile, or just say 'we hate you too, boss'.

every trouble, every victory, every shot of our beloved, buzzing drug in veins - we celebrated together, like we were playing some lost kids from peter pan.

i didn't allow myself to believe i got attached.

i don't allow myself to believe i got attached.

i didn't. period. they're all probably gone by now, either way. even if they kept up at the very beginning, who knew what happened while i was out?

yeah. i should've been much more cautious around the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history. it... probably wasn't call like that out of nowhere, huh. but in our side of the town it didn't differ much at first, y'know. actually, life there didn't change for the longest while. i kept my pack away from that mess. i don't like treating my own self like a moron, so i admitted i was terrified of the thing. war was in the air and i felt it. It was like a bomb. about to explode and fill the world. change those random riots into something... much, much worse.

but i kept believing. for some dumb reason. for... i don't... i didn't even know what for.

but i kept believing, that it will calm. that it will get back to the way things have been. that the biggest sign of havoc would be me and my people, just like back in the days when everything was fine. like i said - i don't want to see people suffer. and, shocker, war does just that. suffering. it makes everyone feel the worst and pray for things to settle. and that's not what happiness should be about.

one time... strange men rushed into the orphanage overnight. didn't get caught into any of our traps we, the checkered scarves, set. didn't wake up any caretakers. they only took one thing. and that - was me. when i woke up, it was already my golden cage, the apartment. they had to drug me or something, because my sleep is usually very light.

...

...woosh, it got pretty angsty over here, didn't it? k, let me open the window for you. and say one more thing. remember i said i was a liar?

[I]i think you know where this is going~

who cares about the past, anyway? what matters is the present. and that one... now, watch it, not gonna lie: doesn't look amazing. let's have a look at that!

ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿᶜᵉ  
_________________ チャンスを取る ° • 

...let's just quickly recap the current situation, okay?

like i hadn't done it about a quadrillion times already but /fine/. ugh, god. i hate my brain. just. fuck. can't it ever listen to me? there we go, either way.

if you already forgot - it's your talentless baby, kokichi ouma! gettin' locked in strange room for year and a half and thrown into an apocalypse afterwards, but kinda actually doing okay! except i'm a lyin' little abortion and i have to remind myself it's gonna be alright every single minute. and for about, what, half of an hour, i have a cool hacking gun! that looks like a megaphone by the way. it's a weird design choice, but honestly, i like it.

ah, and um, well, i use the thing to murder the shit out of robotic teddy bears who have blade claws and struggle to get to every human being in sight, me counting in.

but currently, thanks be to the god i don't believe in or whatevs, as i skip down the street i find behind the back door of the diner with all power i have left in my legs, there is none of them on my way. unfortunately, an instinct that tells me to look around and check my surroundings... this... this time betrays me.

because the robots are everywhere in sight far before me. on the roofs, climbing onto balconies, breaking into markets and houses and staircases. blood is splattering on the walls and swims down the streets, until it drips down into gutters, like red rain water. i-it... kind of looks like cherry cola...

[I]did i mention i hate most things about my brain.

this is... this is bizarre. absolutely dumb. i would risk saying 'impossible', except that i can't. i'm not in denial to /that/ point. i can... i have eyes. i fought those things myself. i almost died myself. i myself am a part of this world.

it's so bad. this is so bad. so much worse than when i left.

only the ability to keep myself distracted enough allows my knees to stay relatively away from shaking and making me lose the very complicated skill of running - as well as it keeps my simple, human reasoning, that i'll eventually need to judge the current situation, on place. future foundation's agent t-told me to run... so i'm doing just that. yeah. see? i still manage. yup. yeah. right. i'm okay.

[I]i'm not okay. i'm babbling with no sense and on the back of my mind i know it more than well. i-i... i'd prefer monokumas to be here, i realize. anything, so my steps' echo didn't seem to press against my entire body with the weight of a whale. i'd focus on shouting out the names of truth bullets and clearing the stage, like it were some game. it did bring me authentic fun before. and meanwhile, i could push forward. yeah. i'd prefer this, instead of listening into my uneven breath on a dead silent road. not like this bullshit in the diner. i don't… want to be the one behind all background character deaths. i don't want them to suffer because of my mistakes. i don't want to have fun with the cost being someone's pain!-

at least... at least i'll fly in a helicopter. hah, yeah! the helicopter! one future foundation sent for me! whatever's their reason... whatever is what pushed them to saving someone like me - the so-called 'captive'... as if i were some vip or whatever. i can't help but feel a little sick about this. like there's so many huge things i'm not conscious of at the moment. the reason i got locked and treated luxuriously for for such a long time. the reason those robots are on the run for. the reason future foundation chose such a lame fucking name.

ah, it seems i'm getting back to myself. good, good. i better keep onto that.

yeah, right. the reason those robots are on the run... because they're not for long. this thing is... it's beginning right now.

i saw that with my own very eyes, in the end. the faces of people in the diner when i rushed in. the sight i got from the waitress, telling me she's ready to call the cops for /me/, as if she hadn't looked outside. well, her misfortune. seconds were probably enough for her to realize she should've made that one correct choice and listen to the weird kid...

as i think about that situation, i come to a conclusion i have no idea whether the woman... was with the survivors out there.

did she...

...

...i can't... think about it.

i can't save everyone by myself. i can't lead everyone all the time. jesus. that's obvious. what am i thinking about? even those nine idiots from the orphanage could eventually work on their own, when i asked them to.

maybe i'm... caring too much. as fucking always when i don't need it the most.

fortunately, at this exact moment i see the street widen a little bit - and there is the playground, next to which a real, absolutely 1:1 scale helicopter is sitting, like some huge, dead silent dragonfly, only awaiting a good moment to set off. four people in suits are standing infront of it, looking not as much of impatient, as i'd say - worried. like they're waiting for something… or someone rather important.

"yo!" i push a smirk on my face, skipping closer. everything is better than silent running and fighting my own head - and acting in front of these people serves a good distraction. "future foundation, aren't you? peko-peko sent me. kokichi ouma, by the way, your adorable captive". the agents exchange little stares, i'm able to tell despite the dark sunglasses they're wearing. after a second or two, one of them nods lightly. "...okay, that's you. especially that you have miss pekoyama's hacking gun." i can't help but give a surprised peek to the megaphone. it's peko's? i didn't think about it before. but once i do, i recall her voice, yelling "BREAK!" right before she comes closer to me to wake me up from shock i fell into... fuck, it seems she saved my life.

ughh i don't like to owe people shit. especially when it comes to saving lives and whatnot. like, after such a favour, they'll expect something similar from me, too, right? and that's fair, i'm not saying it's not. it's just... annoying. the feeling that i /have to/ do something for them. i don't... enjoy it too much, let's say. yea, not a fan. asides, i think peko's doing well without the gun, judging by how ably she took out that sword. sure, i'm not an expert on the matter, but i probably know an epic warrior when i see one. so she may won't need my help anytime soon? like, anytime soon so she'll actually remember i /have/ to do something for her? not saying i wouldn't out of my free will, but mind those exact words: free will. not out of debt or...

i shrug awake when the other agent asks me a question: "could you tell us... where miss pekoyama is? is she safe?"

i blink, turning to the guy. he's a good foot taller, but i don't care alot. there's many people bigger than me on this planet. "what, was she supposed to get back? at the building i was kept in, she told me to run to the diner, like she planned to stay and fight in the first place?" i don't even need to act the surprise in my voice - the same one i'd use, probably, if i were to ask why the hell adults are referring to a highschooler as 'miss' and why is she the one actually leading here, as i assume. but the point stands.

the agents exchange looks again and this time it's clearly worry. i quickly decide to add: "and there was that dude back in the diner, who also stayed where he was. i didn't- i mean, how was i supposed to know i should've taken them with me?". the only woman of the four waves her hand at me softly, clearing her throat before she speaks. "we don't blame you at any point. that... does sound like miss pekoyama and her people. she's got... quite the influence on us, let's say."

yeah, right. peko appears to be a good leader, able to sacrifice herself for her underlings, consciously or not having a say in their view on the world by her noble attitude. or something like that, as much as i'm able to say from talking with five of her agents and her own self for a limited amount of time. i can assume shit about people, i want to spit, but i hold my horses. those people… actually, they look quite like some cool npc's i'd stumble upon at some game... hm. could it be explanation time? maybe i should try. in a sec 

"i'll get back for the agent in the diner. and we'll take miss pekoyama back." the 6-feet dude offers meanwhile and the woman nods. "go. but be quick! we can't stay here forever. we're not safe there." he doesn't answer, only sets off to a sprint right away. damn, he's pretty fast for such a huge guy. as he skips down the street, i notice the way his own hacking gun is attached to the waist somehow. i briefly inspect mine (peko's) to find a simple, small piton thingy. oh. that works i guess. so the weapon is soon by my waist, as well. it's not even so heavy, honestly! was it that, it would surely pull my pants down.

"soo as we wait for our pals, how about you tell me what's up with those monokumas and all? was it triggered by the biggest-most-awful-tragic thing or?..." they stare at me, as if surprised i even remembered something like that existed. the woman clears her throat, again. jesus christ, isn't that annoying. "yeah, it can be considered a part of that. we... don't know too much yet, though. the case of this place is pretty fresh. first things first, however." she lays her palm on the left side of her chest, over the silver pin, as she continues.

"we, miss pekoyama and all the agents you saw on the mission are all a part of future foundation. an organization, that helps the world recover from the incident." she drops her hand gently to the side again. "i think you know what i refer to, correct? you mentioned it yourself before." "the incident..." i mumble, sorting new information, and she nods. to which i respond with a small chuckle. "yea, sure. okay. so, the riots, violence and all. aand it wasn't stopped for eighteen months as i was locked away? then how is this city... how /was/ this city doing so well until now? what the hell even is this place?"

the agent... really does seem surprised with the way i ask my questions. what, was she expecting talking to some moron?

"we're on an island, entirely covered by urban area of a nickname 'towa city'. these days just... everyone calls it that-" i suddenly gasp.

right. oh god. the car i hid behind before... i didn't notice that in fear, but it had to be one of those gadget-packed towa toys, right? man, all this time i was in /towa friggin city/ and i didn't even know! not to be a fanboy over there, but i always had a weakness towards technology. and who does that stuff better than towa group? sure i know this and that about it.

"...because it's basically all under towa group's control and their tech is everywhere around." the woman carefully continues, apparently trying to ignore my vocalization. "but this city was of our interest because of how it is... well, was, unaffected by the incident, like you noticed. even the air here is cleaner than in the other parts of the world, thanks to an air purifier the company designed and produced in barely three months since the tragedy started. some luckiest, richest or fastest people from inhabitable parts of the globe migrated right here..."

air purifier... uninhabitable parts of the earth... it powers on a red light in my head and my insides twist sickly. in a matter of a second, my excitement dies.

"...wait... what's exactly going on that the air's so fucked in the first place?" i ask, and it's hearable that my tone got more serious. but i won't allow myself to act so terrified anymore, i promise myself. that episode with peko is in the past. and this here? it sure won't be something as bad... it won't be... it can't be.

the woman stays silent long enough, so her co-worker finishes for her: "it's a war. war for the sake of war. brutality. despair. beginning with an incident in hope's peak academy a year and a half ago, it... had come to this. most civilizations collapsed. cities... no, entire nations are in ruins"

...huh?

no. no, no, no. it's a lie. it's obviously some joke. the world? in ashes? no way i'll believe it. haha, of course not. never. why would i trust the future foundation in the first place? right! maybe /they/ are the bad guys here? maybe they were even the ones to imprison me, and now they're just acting out a scene to confuse the 'captive' enough, so he'd become buddy-buddy with them?-

i rarely get hunches. but this one, right now, it grabs me by my inners and clenches its fist with a strength of a horde of wolves. the more i try to push it off, the more it hurts. the deeper it stabs. the more claws cut into my flesh and more pieces are torn out of it. i can't believe it. i don't want to believe it. i don't want to trust those strangers. but i know it's only the same lie i'm forcefully stuffing down my throat, that i consumed for the last months.

worst case scenario is unfolding before me. and the feeling of any control against all of that suddenly seems so... meek. small.

my hand unwillingly slides to the megaphone and my fingers trail over white, hard plastic curve of a shape. i was supposed to... laugh in the face of the end of the world. that part didn't feel like a lie before.

[I]why am i starting to theorize whether it is one, then?

h-hey. hold yourself. you still have... no real proof, do you? m-maybe i could ask. maybe they could provide. maybe i...

"...hey, are you following? you zoned off."

the woman's tone grows slightly concerned and i, feeling like i could throw up with my own inners, force a smile and move my shoulders. "i'm okay, i guess. just, you know. the first time realizing the world is screwed! i guess everyone's got their moment" i chuckle, just to watch the agent look away with confusion. okay, i got her. the rest of them, probably, too. good to know i still can pull on some act.

but i really do zone off for the most part. like through fog, i hear the male agent say something on how they were only meant to take a look around towa city and rescue the captive, while they stepped in the middle of this. and how some children's tv transmission caught them off guard...

...kids? kids. some kids on the tv.

ask about it. just do, or you're really gonna throw up, ouma. i'm not so sure if french toasts i had for breakfast this morning taste the same good going up and out.

it's all too much, but what else can i do? it was fine for a while. i had a break. now it's just a moment for yet another headache and numbness, which i'll, this time, try to mask better. as good as i can.

"hey, could i see that tv transmission? you guys got it recorded or something? guess i had to miss it." the man nods eagerly, taking out a tablet from some inner pocket of his suit. unwillingly, that reminds me how long it'd been since i had one of those in my hands.

only one more distraction. but who cares.

"let's see... here." he taps this and that, and then turns the screen to me. it's literally a recording of a tv, so the quality of either sound or picture isn't really breathtaking, but i still pierce it, trying to stay calm. maybe the said kids are just kidding around-

i don't even have a time to blink, when the three absolutely different little personas run by with what seems to be... presenter's corpse. i can't force to. i focus on their looks. their voices. red-haired loudmouth. masked stinky. pinkette bitch. for some reason, her behaviour feels home-like. yeah. i have to focus on shit like such not to look away. not like i've never seen corpse before - duh, i've seen more than i'd like today alone - but just… something in the way they're moving its forceless limbs, like it's a puppet... it...

there's some gibberish argue between them and soon another one walks in - a blue-haired boy. he struggles to convince them to act seriously for a while, but they just ignore him and poke some fun. i could almost smile. almost. the overall theme of the argument seems familiar. i'm sure if it weren't a dead body, but some toy, younger me would be absolutely on the three's side. mocking mr. serious baby could be fun, too.

repeating: weren't it a dead body.

then, into that mess, the other girl rolls in. quite literally. she's sitting on a wheelchair. which i don't trust.

you know that kind of wheelchair people you just see and you immediately get an absolutely /positive/ feeling they can actually walk? i know it doesn't come out to be true 90% of the time, but that little pickle-haired thing totally seems to be the type.

i don't like her.

"people of towa city" the girl speaks softly, ignoring the rest arguing behind the backrest of her vehicle. "we are the ones controlling mister monokuma. we are the warriors of hope."

leader type. absolutely. others may be joking around behind her, but not this girl. i stare into her pixelated eyes, which make me want to check behind my back, as if she could be standing there right now. "with our help, this town is going to change into a paradise, from children, by children, for children! where no adult can longer be thanks to mister monokuma, there will also be no sadness, and no violence held against us, the kids!"

after that, most of the transmission is left to the other four and their doll of a presenter. the video ends shortly after an eye-straining 'stand by' screen shows up. the agent hides his tablet.

could those kids… warriors of hope or whatever… really be the ones causing this entire thing? controlling monokumas? h-hell, maybe even trapping me? that… makes so little sense. how would children gain such power? and this amount of robots? there… has to be someone else behind it, right? the actual boss, who manipulated the warriors of hope into helping their plan and confusing the citizens with some 'paradise' shit. y-yeah. that sounds way better. and it sounds better, just because the other option is to unbelievable to me.

still, i... really didn't like that girl. the green-haired one. the wheelchair. the...

there's… so many holes in this. so many possibilities. am i the only one seeing this? is there seriously nobody else conscious of how much of this can be a lie? fabrication? conspiracy?

what if… how…

stop.

[I]no. i seriously need to stop this. since the war has been mentioned, i'm… i'm not being myself. i'm in pieces. confused, terrified. like never before in my life.

the… truth is pure horror.

that's it. that's the lesson i'm learning today. so keen to know what's going on, unconscious of what awaits behind the door of my cozy, safe apartament, i wished to know everything. believed it would solve all problems. while the only thing truth had done to me so far, was turn me into a little, horrified boy. not even the adorable megaphone gun can calm me at this point. nor the future foundation. nothing can, if i don't decide to stand up on my own and bare with the result of my own former pleads.

i'm just… getting what i wanted. i should just suck it up, for fuck's sake! what am i doing?!

yes, the world is in war. the world is destroyed. yes, i'm in towa city, which is under attack right now. yes, i was captured and held away. yes, the future foundation division 14 came to help me.

yes, i may have unknowingly left peko to her death. and i owe her for saving me, if i see her again.

...

...am i cool now?

i think... i am. as much as i can be.

it's sure better than being wiggly and confused and all, pff.

i'm... just a normal guy. in moments like those it hits me the most. i'm only a teen. a basic one. simple interests. hyperactive brain. desire to mess around. convincing others to, too. i'm not even someone special. a memory of the agent asking me whether i was an ultimate seems so funny now.

i remember i wanted to say something. something cheery. with a straight, this time not quite as forcefully acted, face.

but then there comes the singing.

ᵗⁱᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ˢʰⁱⁿᵉ  
_______________輝く時間 ° • 

"...a kid!"

i turn my head where the agent is pointing, which is also the source of sound. for some reason i'm lowkey expecting to see one of the pickle girl's comrades, if not herself. but no, that... seems to be a casual kid, standing ontop of the colorful climbing frame. sea green dress (is that the color? i dunno, i'm a male. i'm probably blind when it comes to that), white overknee socks, white shirt... and a helmet.

in the moment i see the helmet, i know this can't be good. i've dealt with monokumas for a day, but if anything has to do with them, i'm sure i won't be able to trust it. ever. and so i feel about the thing.

it's covering the entire face of the girl, surrounding her neck closely. one part of the mask is white, the other black with a glassy, crimson eye, just like monokumas' ugly faces. it's finished with polished, metallic parts, that softly reflect the red sky.

"wh-" the woman wants to articulate. mood, honestly. but she doesn't get to finish.

the monokumas that appear beside the singing kid are... bigger. buffier, if that's the word. their maws look much wider and they're on all fours, fur roughened. this morning, i wondered why the bear /isn't/ walking like that. now i'm terrified to know an answer to why it /is/.

the female agent yells besides me: "we have to leave now! qui-" in that second, one of the beasts is already by her. h-huh? how is it so fast? i didn't even- i-

blood splatters on me. my clothes, my hands, my face. bear's claws drip wet. sickening smell of iron falls down my lungs, like a thick cloud of cigarette smoke.

"move, move!" the other agent pushes momentarily paralyzed me towards the helicopter. a part of me asks, of course: and peko? and others? and-

but… i obey. on stiff legs, i scoot inside the machine, not without reaching out for the hacking gun. maybe i'll manage to snipe the bears, i think, too occupied to actually wipe the blood off. i'll have tons of time for that later!...

the man grabs to the handle to jump inside, too, he is basically one leg in, when the ball of white, black and red shoves him away. almost like wind. a blink of an eye. gone. only his screaming is left to me.

my heart rate is spiking, blood whispers in my ears, as it speeds up. oh fuck. oh no. there... was one more agent, right? one more. so he should come by and...

huge, plate-sized paw armed with blade claws clangs against the floor of the helicopter. the bear wants in. and i do what my instinct tells: kick.

kick, step, press, push, kick, kick, KICK!

the paw lets go. i quickly shut the door by sliding, my breath uneven. fuck, what did they give me the hacking gun for?! i even have it in my hand right now! my pointless wondering is interrupted by the sound of pilot's door closing, which brings my attention.

"ugh, thank god or something! let's get out of here, shall-" i start rambling like i always do, putting my hand on one of the backrests, when i lean forward to speak. the only answer i get is a peek of a black teddy bear eye, as the claws of a monokuma thrust into the devices inside the cockpit. the shade of a smile i managed to raise fades. something clicks. the machine powers on.

"upupupu!" the bear giggles, pulling some part of the machinery towards himself. i feel the floor tilt softly under my feet and in a second i panically realize: the helicopter is taking off.

one chance, i have one chance when he's so low! the gun set to BREAK, i aim, i pull the trigger...

machine pushes forward, were it a knife cutting the air. i trip, electromagnetic bullet getting lost somewhere on the front pane, hopelessly missing monokuma. hacking gun escapes from my hands, falls to the ground and i follow after, losing my breath to the point it hurts.

i touch around for the device of mine, as the robot 'pilots' the thing. he isn't doing this any easier. the tilts and ups and downs are shoving me around the inside of the helicopter, making me gain bruises and unwillingly scream of pain, as i hit my elbow on something. ugh. fuck, fuck!...

the lights on the control panels glimmer and buzz. i don't need to be a pilot to know this is absolutely not good.

the beak of the helicopter points down. wind roars in my ears so loudly, that i can't even hear my useless cry.

we're falling. the helicopter is falling.

i can't... end like this...

i can't... i...

the ground is so close, so fast. too soon. too close. too fast. i-i need more time, i will sure find a way, but i just need more-

it crashes, the glass, the light, the feeling of dried blood on me, it's all so wrong.

...

...f-fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally posted on danganronpa amino on december 3rd 2019.

"hey?... hey, are you alright?"

i jolt awake too quick to realize what my nightmares even were. or if i had any at all.

i'm uh. i'm alive - is the first thought and last, before my skull bursts with migraine. last thing i remember… laying face-down on hot asphalt… whole wounded and with my elbow non-existent of pain. helicopter. it crashed. monokumas… they surrounded me. i lost my hacking gun.

right now, i'm… in a strange place. and i don't stink, that alarms my half-awake brain. the bruises don't feel fresh, the scratches seem halfway healed and my clothes don't smell of blood and sweat and dust… like they should be. like what i remember.

where am i? how much time has?- what is?...

i struggle to sit up, my head too hurting for me to begin with any real thought process. all i can do is try to keep my panic down. or it'll hurt even worse.

holding myself in a small self hug, that may as well seem as if i were cold, i carefully look around.

the bed seems okay - yup, it's a bed, the thing i woke up on. red covers. cool. except everything else is not. metal walls seem thick and unfriendly. low ceiling and the cubic shape of the room, as well as the lack of any windows, give me claustrophobia. this looks like a prison cell, no less. oh jesus, what did i get myself into this time? am i the 'captive' again or whatever? because this can't be the place of the future foundation, right? the people, those agents that tried to help me, they're… gone.

another victims. yet another ones.

the memories begin to come back at once. the quadrupedal robots, a singing kid in a black-and-white mask, the… warriors of hope and their pickle girl. the goddamn wheelchair pickle girl.

as my eyes slide through the room, i- notice the tall, lanky figure of a blonde boy. his voice woke me, kinda? it hits me now. he was here along. how didn't i?-

he smiles, in spite of how wethered his clothes and skin are. his hair is almost dripping of oil. i feel my nose wrinkle. he doesn't smell the nicest… but he looks conscious enough to tell me what's up. wait, is that a frickin' chain on his ne-

"i'm glad you've awaken." aaand i lose a chance to speak first. "t-they would've gotten so mad at me if you hadn't… after all, i-i'm just… a low servant…"

i cautiously look at him again. the voice is silk smooth and deep, but his body's skin and bones. even in this state, i could probably tackle him no problem… or i couldn't. getting myself to stand up is quite the task in the first place. when i finally manage to do that, grunting, i agree i could just try and talk first. "yo, um… i'm glad i woke up too, that's one. two, how much time has passed exactly?" i'm just so uncomfortable with those bruises feeling so mild, what the fuck. "and uh… did someone change my clothes or whatevs?..."

oh, yeah, whatevs. someone undressed an unconscious teenager. i'm usually not much of a crime chaser (please) but i can't help my skin crawl at the thought. yea, i do crime. not that sort of crime, that involves deep mental trauma.

he smiles again and this time it turns a little kinder. huh. he'd be actually kinda hot, weren't it for how starved and dirty he is. "one, i'm happy you're happy." aw, how cute. the next answer is not cute. "two, it's been three days since you lost consciousness. during that time, they managed to take over towa city."

well, that solves the bruises mystery, but then there's 'them'... the tv kids? nah… maybe? uh-oh. no good. absolutely no good. w-what is it like outside? still pure havoc? monokumas? how come nobody react?-

...actually, what did i expect? it… was so dumb of me to believe everything would be okay in the moment i woke up, right? it absolutely was! the city is still the same mess it used to be.

i feel cold under my skin. i'm an idiot. the guy continues on though, i'm apparently doing decent holding the big blob of fear on the inside.

"three, yes and no. i was only ordered to bring you here, but i took off and washed your clothes from my own initiative. they were pretty worn-off and dirty, so i did what i could. a-and i got the hole in your uniform fixed." he points down and i carefully peek, afraid of it being a trick - but no, a huge spot on my right leg sleeve is indeed patched up with some red material that looks like… a piece of the bedsheet i woke up on. when did i get this part ripped off, anyway? in the helicopter crash? earlier? hard to say. but he fixed it, even if a little clumsily. it's kind of endearing.

this guy feels okay so far for my senses, but doesn't mean i'll drop my guard. who knows what /else/ did he put on me, except for fixed and cleaned clothes? maybe he implanted some sort of a tracker behind my ear, like in that one manga i'd been reading in a lockdown? i should be cautious. three days had passed, the city is apparently under control of crazy people… who knows what else this place has in stock for me?

"mhm, cool. thanks" he bows at my answer, the chain on his neck chimes. it's… very unsettling for some reason. i continue with questions, trying to regain focus. "then… can i know your name? or my purpose here?" the blonde chuckles. "i'm really just a low servant of my masters. you can... address me 'servant' just fine. as for the purpose - since you're awake, it's time for you to take the test."

then, he reaches out to his waist to grab…

"my hacking gun-" i let out, a flatter of unexplainable relief in my gut. but he hushes me. "listen, you /shouldn't/ have it back. do you get it?" he looks over his shoulder at the closed door, tensing up. he seems awfully serious out of the blue, his silly grin fading - and i take it as if it's sincere, silencing obediently. "you should really keep quiet about it. i already had to downgrade it a little bit, but don't worry." he offers me a calm smile. "you'll be able to bring it back to its previous state on the way. look out for those" he takes a tiny white box with a green ribbon from his coat. he shakes it a little - it seems something small is on the inside. "it's a pendrive with a new truth bullet. you just have to plug it into the hacking gun for a few seconds. there will be more of those around for you to find" he lays both the gun and the box on the ground next to his feet, and before i'm able to say anything, he's by the entrance. "it's time, i believe. i'll get going-"

"wait, what test? wait, i-" i take a step forward, raspiness heard in my voice more than i'd like it to be. i suddenly feel like i'm about to break again and i hate, i hate, i hate that feeling. he looks at me with surprise, for sure noticing all that i can't manage to contain.

i don't care if i shouldn't trust him. i-i don't… i don't want him to go.

but i also don't want him to see that. i absolutely don't.

the servant only offers me that kind smile in exchange, again. "oh, you can do it. just get up there, where everyone is waiting. use your head, use your gun, don't die. you'll be good. i believe in you."

after those words, the door opens before him. he steps out and it's closed back again. a device on the wall nearby clicks and its light turns from green to red.

i'm left alone.

ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒ ᵃᵍᵃⁱⁿ  
_____________ ここで我々は再び行く ° • 

i need a while to get my composure back. i take it.

remember? you told yourself, kokichi. you can't care this much. you don't care this much. you'll drive yourself crazy. you can't trust him. you can't get stupidly attached.

yes, the world is messed up right now and there's no light in the tunnel so far. yes, i am in the middle of this for… some reason? dear god, do i need a hug. i can't believe i'm thinking this, but /fuck/, i need a hug. and that cup of hot chocolate/tea with peko. is peko alive? i owe peko shit. oh god, breathe.

it takes me a couple of minutes, but i ultimately grow ashamed of my thoughts, per usual. good. pfft, a hug? what am i, sick? this servant dude could hug me all he wanted when i was asleep.

good, good. now, out of the thinking mode. go action mode. with that, i work on pushing the philosophies away and doing what i gotta do.

i carefully begin to stretch my arms and legs, pop my back and all. it gives something to focus on and also feels good on my body, in spite of bruises. that's something. finally, after carefully contemplating whether i should, i pick up the hacking gun and the gift box.

honestly, it feels… just so relieving to have the weapon back. but if he said i'll need it, that means there are more monokumas around. is that what the 'test' is about? i have to get somewhere where 'everyone' is while maneuvering around murderous bears? and how about the pendrives? somehow when he mentioned the mysterious 'way', i felt like… he meant something bigger than just this. but, hell i know, really.

i gulp. c-come on, concentrate. maybe let's start from getting out from this room. i'll have to do that, one way or another. this time, i want no claws in my door to surprise me.

i peek at the device on the wall… hm. seems responsible for having the place locked and unlocked. it's uncovered and powerless - perfect for me to aim at. i stare at the little screen on my gun and my hands turn cold. i have… only one bullet. one and only BREAK.

okay, okay. i can work with BREAK. apparently it's all i need at this point… or is it?

my eyes slide to the present box. it looks like the one you'd keep earrings in, or some other expensive shit. not wasting time, i plop it open to find a green pendrive.

i get back to the bed, lay everything out there and organize myself properly. the pendrive has a bit of white tape sticked to it on the other side - it reads MOVE ⁽⁵⁾. that… was one of the bullets, right? one of those two i couldn't find a use for before. oh, great.

whether i can take advantage of it now or not, maybe my future self will thank me for having it installed. it's not like having it will work on my disadvantage anyway. i quickly find a sheltered usb port at the bottom of the megaphone handle, open it up with a click and plug the pendrive in.

the gun immediately answers with a pixelated command: "NEW TRUTH BULLET OBTAINED" - and indeed, the familiar symbol of MOVE flashes on the little control pad. i have it under 5, against the number 1 - BREAK. just like before.

i exhale and straighten up, slipping the pendrive into one of my pockets. is that all? good. okay. now open the door.

i hesitantly aim at the device, gun set on the blue bullet. do i… want to do this? who knows what's on the outside? when the servant was leaving, all i saw was an empty corridor, but how can i know if?...

i frown at myself and shoot. a blue beam fades in the wall right away. huh… so apparently that's not it. i inhale, switching to five. if that doesn't work, then… do i fail the test? ultimately? i didn't really work with MOVE like i did with other bullets. it seemed useless in a fight three days ago...

"move?" i ask more than shout, pulling the trigger.

the green bullet hits its target and red light flickers, then changes to its previous color: again, green. the door creeks and slides open.

oh.

"oh." i say out loud, peeking outside. empty, long, sci-fi-looking corridor is ahead of me, shining like inners of a metal snake. the servant is nowhere to be seen. so do monokumas, but if i close my eyes, i can hear their robotic cackling… or is it just my memories mixing with reality?

"...oh." i repeat again. i can't… manage to step outside at first. i check the room again, look around.

i'm terrified. it's not a lie. i so wish it could be.

the outside? this room? this weapon i'm carrying? it sounds like a messed up dream. everything since the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history began has been feeling just… surreal, if i think about it. even if me and my group were trying to avoid it… even if /i/ was trying to avoid it as much as i could, even when i was safe in my prison apartment for so many months - now it's there, holding me in its jaws, threatening to snap all my bones. have other people been living this nightmare since the very beginning? should i be surprised the servant seems so unsettling? for all i know, he could have had a family, a home, a love interest before this… or in this. the towa city was the last utopia of normality on earth and now it… now they...

all of them could...

…

...come on. come on, i /did/ work this through! ugh, you idiot… you're so boring, ouma. so utterly boring. repeating the same shit over and over and over, as if someone wouldn't get tired of it after the first time. what would your group say? what would the checkered bandanas tell you?

i close my eyes and hold my breath.

don't think. don't. think. about. that.  
please. please don't. think.

eyes still closed, i grip the megaphone a little tighter. come on. i can do it.

[I]i just have to do it.

my legs, not knowing what to do, finally decide to move forward and take everything into their hands… or should i say feet? all i know is that i finally walk outside.

ーーー

you think my first monokuma after the nap felt special here? nah, not really. son of a bitch sneaked up on me from behind. like goddamit, they can be quiet if they want to! it surprised me to the point i first allowed him to taste the useless bullet of MOVE. it didn't really move him, ironically. the knife claws got way closer than i'd prefer, before he finally went bye-bye with a 'nice shot', when i managed to switch the gun to BREAK. my heart was in my throat and i felt like i'd burst into goddamn tears. i really didn't dream about seeing those guys again.

later, i was being too cautious to remember much besides running and jumping and sniping at the bears from the distance. aaand then i realized i have limited bullets. was that a thing before? i think not. but maybe i'm wrong.

by the moment i reach the small plaza with a weird ass monument in the middle, i have about forty bullets left out of about sixty i got first. not bad. it also seems MOVE's are infinite, so that's cool. it does make sense, kinda. a tool can be used and used, while a gun, the weapon, is limited. or something like that.

i take out the three bears that were waiting behind the monument. dealing with them in this closed space is much more terrifying. i sometimes get a look straight into their throats and i don't like it one bit. i barely get one of them the nice shot way, others are taken care of… traditionally. wasting bullets. how do i even restore them? is there some way to do that?

i exhale, pushing their limp robot corpses away with my foot to then step closer to the other wall, where a familiar red switch hangs. i give it a MOVE, it turns green - and the gate behind the monument opens up with a loud rumble. that was… simple.

all and all, monokumas are creepy, but physically fighting for my life clears me from bad thoughts. that's my final view on it. for now.

i take my steps up the stairs, carefully looking around - for some traps, maybe. or people. like, alive people that are actually fine. there aren't any though, just like throughout the entire building - and the monokumas stopped coming in, too. but at the moment i reach the very last step, i hear laughter. behind the huge door, that pulls me towards itself.

not giving myself time to overthink, i cautiously pin the hacking gun by my belt, tucking it under the jacket. and then i push on the door, not wanting to admit fear is crawling up my lungs.

last time i saw a kid, it didn't end up well.

how ironic, this one wouldn't be any better.

ーーー

"ooooh!" i let it slip before i know that. "the tv kids?"

the four little abominations look at me with amusion before the girl giggles. the headphones-wearing boy puts his arms behind his head with a smug grin. "hell yea! i'm famous!" "w-we are…" the hunched one on the side mutters, eyes on their own fidgeting fingers. "w-we're all famous…"

they're standing in a loose line in the middle of this enormous, empty room, floor covered with heavy tiles and ridiculously high ceiling making it feel like some cathedral. so different from the corridors… and my little cell. but that's not important. the servant said everyone would be waiting for me… and so they are. the kids. it has to be about them, no? there's literally nobody else that i've seen there.

i carefully observe them. the infantile red headed one, the pretty pink… pinkette? is that a word? pretty sure it isn't, but it's clear what i mean. the masked one, unable to be identified… and the silent blue-haired. the 'serious' and 'mature', huh. even now he's kind of odd, quiet when others are babbling. especially the all-pink girl. i kind of like her confidence. something in her feels familiar, too.

bits of what i remember from seeing the recorded transmission run through my brain. paradise for children by children, t… the way they were playing with corpse… i have to be careful, don't i? no matter if they're actually in charge or not, i just gotta.

when i'm about to speak up, i hear some metal whirling. the kids silence as well and turn their heads around - but even so, i see the bright, loving relief that flashes in their eyes as the devil herself approaches on her wheelchair.

i don't trust her snake green eyes one bit, when she grins at me kindly and the first sentence is mercilessly thrown at me.

"so good to have you there, big bro kichi-nyan!"

first thing that comes to mind, almost like a life-saving instinct is: "big bro? but i don't know you!" - even though i seriously wanna gag. i puff up my cheeks and cross my arms on my chest, like an annoyed kiddo. she tilts her head with a chuckle. i'm not sure whether she buys it or not, but i'll keep this up. being closer to their level may be beneficial. "you're so funny, big bro kichi! now, now." she… ignores me. that little- "i see you made it here after all. so, guys, let's introduce the warriors of hope, shall we?"

they then proceed to go forward, one by one. li'l ultimates, i note. masaru, kotoko, jataro, nagisa… and monaca. i don't. like her. besides, what the hell even /is/ ' li'l ultimate homeroom'? the fuck kind of talent is that? i know ultimates are generally on a different wavelength, but i mean… really? and who pulls such small kids into this? they're just some oddballs-

my fave is an easy go though. utsugi. a little, adorable liar. i'd see eye to eye with her, i'm sure, if she weren't the 'fighter in warriors of hope' or whatever rpg they're playing- speaking of.

"yeah, that's all really neat, you know." i frown. "but you still didn't tell me what warriors of hope even aare? what kind of a game is this, if i don't get to know the rules?" i pout, just for monaca to poke her finger into her snow-white cheek in thought. "hmm… you did see the tv announcement though, so you should know that already. but okay." she claps her hands happily. "a paradise built of children, by children, for children! a towa city with no demons to bother us at all!" nagisa takes the initiative, smiling lightly with pride. "all thanks to monaca's magic and the monokumas we're able to control with it, the city will be soon wiped out of all adults." "that means pedophiles, too!" kotoko chuckles. "isn't that amazing?!" "i'll be the king of this town!" masaru throws his fist towards the ceiling. jataro mutters something to himself, as others purposefully ignore him. but if i'm not wrong, he's saying something about… inners spilling from a body cut in half.

i feel my blood turn cold and my legs don't feel like they want to move ever again. breath catches in my throat and i feel dizzy from the sudden realization.

the kids want adults - demons - go.

they play it like a sick game, because that is what they are. that's all they know as children. i don't know what ultimately pushed them towards this, but…

i look at them. for all i know, they could be lying. but as i stare at their grinning faces, their genuinely happy smiles…

i think about murderous bears, blood puddles and cries for help.

w-wait, no. play it cool. play it neat. maybe… what if i-

"oooh, sounds awesome!" i really hope the sparks in my eyes look sincere enough, considering i feel like i'm about to throw up - with air, since i didn't eat anything for three days. it's like that exhaustion piles up on me right now, trying to squish me into heavy tiles, like an ant. "can i play, too? i could be the jester, when it comes to class!" i giggle. "come onn, i can't be that much of a demon, after all!"

i don't like adults, that's true. i think they really could try harder.

but i don't want them to disappear, of course i don't! i'm not a moron, i'm… i'm not a murderer-

what if i managed to infiltrate the warriors of hope from the inside? what if i convinced them to stop at some point? all my other theories burn out, only leaving the horrifying reality, bare and meaty and bloody. my chest tightens and the hacking gun seems so, so heavy.

kotoko chuckles. "oh my, he's so adorbsss! look at those cheeks! i could squish them all day long! they look almost as good as monaca's!" she nuzzles her face into her palms, shaking it with a smile. "guyys, are you sure he's a demon? he's almost as small as a kid! and we don't have a purple in the party yet! /or/ a jester!" nagisa is quick to step forward against the excited actress. "kotoko, what are you saying? he's obviously a meant-to-be. look." his cold blue eyes lay on me for a little bit, our stares cross. i'm surprised by the amount of careful deduction his emanues. are they... sure he's only vice? or are they /sure/ monaca herself isn't the leader? "he's going to begin to change in a span of few months. maybe weeks. mayhaps the changes already began on the inside, and we don't even know." he looks away from me and at the drama girl. "maybe he doesn't know, either. if so, we'll do him a favour by killing him off, before he can experience something as horrendous as adulthood. do you understand?"

the pink haired seems seriously confused for a little bit, once giving a stare to me, once to others. does… she know i'm a liar, like her? if so, why does she /still/ want me in? m… maybe it's the same force that pulled me and the other kids in the orphanage together. maybe she just feels she'd be safer with someone like her, even if it could destroy her.

the other li'l ultimate sighs, leans forward and whispers something into her ear. her mimic changes drastically for a second. she looks at me again, when nagisa steps away. and this time, for less than a second, it's shock. and fear.

i recall her mentioning how pedos would be gone with the adults as well.

oh god. was she-

"i mean, yeaah. you're right." she sighs, crossing her arms. and her mask is pulled on. currently, it's disappointment. "the best i could do for kichi is to kill him… so he doesn't have to suffer in his new form."

she's saying it like it's about her sick pet. i'm really gonna throw up.

"aw, man." my voice shakes a little bit. but perhaps they didn't notice? haha. yeah. perhaps. "what am i doing here, then?"

the kids look at each other. monaca smiles. "well, everyone? shall we play our game?"

the group cheers. "you always have such great ideas, monaca. e-even though we're busy… we'll do what you want" nagisa smiles, a little bit of blush painting his cheeks. kotoko and masaru clap with excitement. "mhm, yes, yes! the game is truly a splendid idea!" the girl laughs. "no time to waste!" masaru grins waving his hand. "hey, you! bring the device!"

...i knew the fact i didn't notice him before wasn't a coincidence.

"h-hey!" i exclaim, my game almost bursting at its seems. the sudden appearance of the servant isn't too calming, either. i stare at the bracelet he put on my left wrist, feeling the nuseus odor of his. it surrounds me, choking like a damp, rotting blanket. his presence makes me feel kind of… frailer. easier to squish. "what is this thing?"

the kids look at me. "your game ticket, it is!" kotoko hums. "you've just become a target! target for demon hunting!" "y-you'll be let into towa city… and the one of us that hunts you down is the winner…" jataro cackles to himself. "ahaha… t-that sounds so good… princess monaca's ideas are the best..."

i swallow hardly, wanting to back out on soft knees, but i feel a blockade behind me. oh fuck. the servant dude is tall and still there. he's… at least one foot over me, actually. and he doesn't seem to wanna let me walk past. looking down, as i stare up, he offers a meek smile. "use my advice. you can survive that." he speaks barely above a whisper, holding up that kind smirk. i want to shake my head, panic rising in my chest, but then he gently pushes me forward to stand straight. oh god. oh fuck. what did i get myself into-

"kokichi ouma?" i hear the pickle shit speak up and i look her in the eyes, struggling to keep my composure. "you probably know this by now, but… this place you're in, it's not a pretty story you get to write on your own. it's not a poem. it's not a heroic ballade, either." she leans forward in her wheelchair, head tilted to the side, and i swear, i swear i've never seen a human being look more reptile than her, that little, disabled, pale girl. "...it's an oblivion. you're falling into a bottomless pit of despair, forgetting the world and people you knew before. whether you got at least a /glimpse/ of it when it used to be at peace, doesn't. matter. it's funny how little you get to say in this. but you'll get used to it." if my blood was cold before, now it stops circulating at all. my hands feel numb. my tongue is lost. monaca doesn't blink, as she goes on and whispers, each word biting into the back of my skull. "you're forgetting all of it, all of it real soon. and you won't even notice."

the worry, the animal fear within me boils and itches and i'm absolutely sure i cannot breathe for a second. meanwhile, she sits back again, casually waving her hands to other warriors of hope. "okay, i'm done!~ masaru, let's proceed!"

red haired nods firmly, pointing at me… or someone behind me. and before i know what's going on, bony, starved hands harshly push me a couple steps forward. i catch my balance, but not for long.

[I]click.

and suddenly there's only black and roaring nothingness.

ᶜʳʸⁱⁿᵍ ᶠᵒʳ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ⁱⁿ ʰᵉˡˡ  
_____________ 地獄の愛のために泣いて ° • 

nobody will hear me in the air?

nobody will hear me in the air.

good. because i'm screaming and yelling and trying to catch my breath, as earth runs towards me at enormous speed. the height is so great and rush is so huge, that i can't tell where exactly am i. it's hard to keep my eyes opened wide, even.

"GOD FUCKING- SHIT!" i cry, trying to look around. fruitlessly. all i spot is a weird, dark, flying battle machine-like vehicle far in the sky above me. one i fell from. "STUPID DAMNED KIDS AND THEIR RPG'S, FOR FUCKING GOD'S SAKE! I MEAN- ugh!" i struggle to take a breath. which isn't easy, either. monaca's words stick to me disgustingly close, dangerously close to my lungs and my racing heart.

i. don't want to think about it. about her stare. i curse again. "the hell i'm supposed to do now, anyway?! huh?! hu-"

in that moment, the parachute opens with a woosh, painfully pressing the air off me. for a second i'm stumped, watching countless, little streets, like worms' tunnels - now gently swaying before my eyes. i cough. i think about all those horrible injuries people who cannot use parachutes get while landing, the most dangerous part of the process.

"fuck-" is the only thing i groan, leaning back and catching onto the strands, watching the ground draw closer. when did they even put it on me? h-how?

...there's... indeed something utterly fascinating in the way everything around me just changes. like that green snake ass said. i'm falling. unused to how these new things are, how forceless i am against them. i'm just praying that my parachute won't break. and that's really it, when i'm unable to truly look towards tomorrow.

she was right, and that's what makes it so much worse.

ーーー

iii actually fall straight on my face while landing. and allow the black and white material to cover me whole. class.

"ugh…" i surface from the parachute, finally and luckily unwounded, not counting some dumb new bruises. not yet thinking about my surroundings, mind you. i'm busy trying to calm my galloping heart - that doesn't accelerate from the fall only, obviously. i'd take ten thousand jumps like those, if that meant i wouldn't have to be in this situation! ten? hell, a hundred thousand! that'd be actually neat! that was so cool, i mean! the jump alone!

"jesus fucking-" i breathe out, tilting my head up and weakly sitting back on my knees seiza style. crimson red with black, sharp clouds sticked ontop… how come the sky really look like this? it seems as if blood spilled on everything above. who knows, maybe it had?... everything is possible at this point. either way, i can't even tell the time of day like this.

i close my eyes and gulp. or, hardly swallow.

yup, kokichi. you've landed in your own dark tunnel of the most awful, most tragic event in human history. it finally caught you and it doesn't want to let go. and so i. am fucked. by /kids/. primary schoolers, who somehow got to control monokumas. thanks to monaca's 'magic', ugh.

before i can begin to even think about standing up, i hear familiar, twitchy sounds.

"oh come on-" i exhale tearfully, before clearing my throat and reaching out to unpin the hacking gun. in the same time, the robots proceed to climb the fence of the roof where i landed, soon to break through it. oh- shit. there's /a lot/ of them. like, more than i've ever seen in a closed space. and all are equally slow and terrifying.

i want to get up, but i can't manage to. megaphone in shaking hands, i realize i'm like glued to the floor. i can't cry, i don't want to cry. i shouldn't cry.

i-it's that just… i don't get it single bit, okay? everything is out of my control, all decisions are not mine and i've got put in a role of a simple pawn, just like that. it's nothing like what i've been through before, h-hah-

there's so much more of them appearing and so much closer and i still can't budge. i realize i've been arguing with my own self for a while now, just now those /thoughts/ are growing even louder and harsher and they both seem equally mine.

soon i'm absolutely certain this will be my end. that this will be over and then-

"awwwwwh there you areee~ li'l monobearsss!"

i peek up, not conscious enough to wipe the awful, ugly water off my face, that i'm not gonna call words. and the sight is… somewhat fascinating.

a blonde dude - wearing a manhandled school uni, pretty much like i do - is uh. disassembling the bears with some short, yet sharp blades he's holding in both hands. like daggers, maybe? no, they're- scissors. sharp, shiny tailor scissors. i've never seen more dangerous-looking ones in my life. but wait up- how did he get here? i didn't even notice him come by? s-shame. but on the other hand, i didn't notice the servant as well.

i watch him dance between the robots and their claws like they're nothing that could harm him. cut, thrust, swing - countless monokuma arms and heads fall to the ground one by one. some of them explode, even. he's babbling something to himself all the time, giggling a little. i don't exactly catch what he says in the noise, but some blank part of me doesn't even want to care. plus, he doesn't seem too well on his mind, fighting with his tongue spilled out all the way down to his chin.

the confrontation becomes unavoidable, when all the bears are gotten rid of. piercing - this time human - eyes lay on me.

"huh? the hell are y-" he wants to ask, but a soft, kitten-like sneeze interrupts him. oh fuck. that was actually kinda cute, in all ridiculousness and hopelessness of my situation. it kinda snaps me out of just sitting there. he shakes his head and looks around in confusion, while i carefully get on my feet. he seems… kinda as if he were here for the first time, of a sudden? after quickly hiding the scissors, he's unwrapping some white cloth (bandage?) from his hand and putting it over his right eye, which- oh damn. it's… all covered in deep scars, actually. his eyelid and skin around it - whole marked up. it looks mildly fresh, either. as if a monokuma got to him a few months ago- but a couple of seconds before he seemed to be just fine with it being out there, for the world to see?

i stare at him wrap it up, megaphone in hands. he stares back at me. with one, annoyed, olive eye. "i-i think he was asking you something?" he finally mutters, crossing his arms on his chest with a frown. "w-well, anyway. who are you?"

maybe it's ridiculousness of this shit circus i'm in the middle of, but really the only thing that comes to my mind is:

"you're fucking short-" i blurt out with a small smile, that just naturally comes along. blonde immediately tenses up, pissed off by book, thin eyebrows narrowing and the round eye throwing daggers at me. "excuse me?! we're about the same height, you moron! what kind of an answer is this, anyway?"

it /is/ the nonsense i'm floating in, isn't it? am i gonna turn insane from this, like all those kids and teens i've seen so far? maybe asides from peko? am i already insane? god knows, really. if they exist. but for all /i/ know, something inside me, a little, fragile string - breaks. with all that happened today so far, with even the clouds above me seeming bloodied, am i surprised it didn't happen any sooner? yes. yes i am.

i begin to chuckle, carefree sound escaping me just like that. and soon i can't help but laugh out loud, pushing off the instability of this stage i found myself on - in this improv show titled 'kokichi ouma'.

and the dude before me? he seems more and more rageful every second, growling something at me. the fact his freckle-sprinkled face looks so squishy doesn't help him with being taken seriously. if anything, he's more hilarious. oh man, kotoko would love those cheeks as well, i'm sure-

he seems fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally posted on danganronpa amino on april 24th 2019.

"okay, that's IT!" the blonde guy growls and turns his back on me, against my chuckle. "if you're gonna be THAT much of a moron, then i don't see why would i!-" he suddenly freezes and sniffs the air. my laughter fades, too, as i spot the familiar sword sash on his back. it… it looks like-

"why do you have…"  
"why are you…"

we both silence and he frowns, not without visibly growing distrust. he faces me again with a quiet sigh. "okay, go first." 

i can't help an ironic bow. "wow, thank you. anyway, why do you have that sash? it belongs to a girl i know."

i obviously shouldn't trust him, even if he's around my age. the servant was either, no? and he pushed me into a hole. that's enough reality check for today, thanks! doesn't mean i can't use him, though… if he has something to do with peko's sword, then maybe he has something to do with her! liiike what if he's her brother! or a lover. or both!- okay, you know what? forget i said anything-

the possibility that he just found this sash near peko's body seems more likely. i barely keep myself from shivering at the thought.

his eye goes wide and he seems honestly surprised before he manages his composure and glances my way. he seems… angry?

"so i was right, after all. you're kokichi ouma, aren't you? the captive peko was after with her division." he groans. there's a pinch of guilt in his sour tone. "god fucking damn it. i told her she should've actually brought me along!..." when he stares at me again, his eye is throwing daggers. "what the fuck, you idiot! you should've protected her! you have her gun! y-you do know it's against the monokumas, right?! you can't be *that* stupid!"

i'm quick to shake the shock off, taking a defensive position. not showing that i'm hurt is my game, after all. i should practice. i puff up my cheeks and rest my hands on my waist. i need no more unreasonable guilt today. "well, she told me to run, so i did just that? she seemed to be doing just fine with her sword! speaking of-" i point at the shape above his shoulder. "the hell is that for? where'd you find it? how do you know peko and my name? where is peko? talk to me, boss baby!" i'm having fun, but he seems unironically pissed off by my comments. i fight the urge to burst with laughter, again, when his face turns a shade of hot pink.

"wh- don't call me that! i-idiot!" how come mean names sound so funny in his mouth? it's crazy! change of plans, we're going further. it's… actually one hell of a good distraction.

"i will if you don't tell meee!" i whine with a cute little face, comically hitting the ground with my feet in anticipation "pretty pleaaase, boss babyyy? pleaaaaaase?"

i can almost see the pink of his cheeks turn angry red. "okay, fine, just- shut the fuck up!" blonde waves his hands with a groan, before slightly regaining his composure. "for now, i… i don't know where anyone is, i… i-i just found the sword going around the city and took care of it. i was about to be claimed to future foundation before this whole towa mess even began. i was… in training, you could say. but peko was going on this stupid mission and i- i mean, i couldn't just let her get out there and get hurt! after all, she's my young ma…" he bites his tongue. i yearn to ask, but let's just let him correct himself first. "...my… friend. she's my dearest… friend."

"...why are you so unsure about saying that?" he's surprised to see my tone and expression shift serious so quickly. 

the blonde blinks, then sighs. he too seems oddly melancholic now, even though he rolls his eye again. "i uh… it's a long story, but for all you gotta know, me and peko were raised very close. you could say i was meant to be her… tool."

"...and what exactly does that mean?" 

he shoots me an annoyed stare and he visibly tries to fight the urge, but finally gives up to frustration. "i used to be her hitman, goddammit! her private guard!" he blurts out with a scoff, then groans and turns around on his heels. i can almost see his cheeks burn.

wow. if it's enough to get on his nerve for him spit everything out… no wonder how he's still just a trainee in the future foundation thingy. little idiot-

"ohh, a hitman… a human tool…" i nod slowly, bringing a finger to my lips (shit, aren't they crusty and disgusting-) "that fills up some blanks… guess you knew who the sword belonged to and could easily identify it, even between some debris. i'll accept that."

"...yeah, i'll accept your position, either." blonde nods. "your gun and identity make sense and explain why you smell of peko… you h-have her gun, after all."

i blink. "pardon me? what did you just say?" 

he looks at me with confusion. "what? you smell of peko. i can recognize her scent pretty easily."

i frown with a grin. "so you know how her sweat /smells/ like? creep~"

"i-!" he struggles to find an argument for a second, blush turning a bit flustered. honestly, it's fascinating how many shades of warm colors his face can produce in such a short time. and how distinguished they are! "i-i just… we were raised together and i'm- i used to be her hitman! of course i know the way she smells, it doesn't mean i'm a creep!"

i pout, pulling on a kissy face. "suure, that's what you cishets always say." he tilts his head in confusion. 

"c-cishets? the fuck are you-"

just as we're in the middle of this lovely nothing talk, a familiar, dreadful cackle fills the air, followed by rusty strains of a metal net. the bears appear in sight again, climbing their way up to us, just like before. i gulp, immediately getting a better grip on my gun and turn around to see if there's- yeah, there's even more of them on the other side. gee, okay, the blondie saved me once, but i am not going to need that another time. not like i can fully trust him… when i peek over my shoulder, he seems just as uncertain. he- you know what, fuck it.

"uhhh, can i know your name?" i frown watching the first monokuma drop to the rooftop. others follow like an avalanche close after. they really are the pack types, goddammit- "calling you 'him', 'blonde', 'boss baby' and 'this guy' in my mind got old real quick. could use some new vocabulary, you know?"

he hesitates for a sec, but then just sighs. "...fuyuhiko kuzuryu. just please don't make any short-"

"understood, hiko!" i smirk over my shoulder, right before aiming at the first bear. "sorry, didn't really catch the last part~"

i think he curses under his breath, but for all i know, i have to focus on the other stuff more. the action part, aha. we had the talk, now we're getting attacked! easy! know the pattern! just think of it as of a game and you'll. be. fine.

t-the strategy… 'you need something', i think, shooting bear after bear. i-i can't… have myself break down like before. i can't make myself useless by denying and waking up on concrete after falling from fake cloud nine! s-so what can i…

...

...don't think. about danger. and know you're ignoring it.

lie to yourself, it's partly just that. but, you have to acknowledge it's the moment to lie, and yet don't be wrapped up in that lie. you have to secure yourself with it, as if covering your eyes with a semi-transparent material. fool yourself, and yet see you're fooled. don't drown in that lie.

you're going to suffocate if the material's even a bit less see-through. and bursting your bubble will be even more hurting.

i take a deep breath. i can't be surprised by reality. not anymore.

as i shoot off the first few robots with so-called nice shots, the gun feels way more familiar in my hand, like it did in the diner. like i'm doing s-something… good. gee, ouma, you sentimental schmuck! was that an actual word? can't remember. well, now it is! who cares, the world's having an apocalypse! 'pinkette' and 'schmuck' are in my dictionary now, what are you gonna do? 

inviting more monokumas to taste BREAK, i can see in the corner of my eye how fuyuhiko's dancing with the katana. balancing like a ballerina, silver blade sharp like tiger claws… and yet, he… feels different than before. it makes me unexplainably worried.

why isn't he using the scissors?  
why does he keep his eye covered?  
something's... wrong.

...i call a provocation.

"heyy, why're you slacking off? we could really use the scissor style from before! you seemed to be having fun!" he tenses up. uh-oh. oh- oh shit. did i hit it right in the spot-

it seems so, because a second of hesitation is enough for a monokuma to jump at fuyuhiko from his blind right side. my hand reacts before my brain for once.

"BREAK!" i don't even know when, but i get rid of the robot. i suppose… a part of me decides to keep that little prince alive for now. 'NICE SHOT', compliments the gun as i scoot closer to him, slicing my attention into talking and aiming.

"man, your eye works fine?! i know it's all messy, but you think anyone will mind the way you look right now?!" i screech over the monokuma laughter. fuck, this is getting bad. i have around twenty bullets left. shit. as much as i thought it was just a little play before, i realize i will literally /need/ the scissor fuyuhiko to-

...why did i say that as if he were a totally different person from the fuyuhiko behind me? my gut feeling worsens.

fuyuhiko's silent and it doesn't make our situation any better. i squeak like a rubber duck, dodging robot claws. "not today, bitch!" i spit, then try to catch the blonde's stare again. in vain. he… is he avoiding me right now?

"hikooo, what's the deal? we could seriously use that! my gun isn't unlimited!" 

he shrugs at that, turning to face me for a second, expressing pure shock. "it... isn't?" 

i shake my head. "some fucker downgraded it for me. i have seventeen BREAKs left-" whoopsie, a surprise pops up on my left. i take it down. "-sixteen. and it's pretty hard to aim them in the eye all the time, not to even mention there's simply too many of them, even if i kept scoring nice shots!" i catch his stare again and i allow myself to be sincere. sincerely terrified, that is. "listen, whatever that was that you did, we need it! right! now!"

he could be more efficient with his katana, but not /that/ efficient. he's not able to multiply arms with swords, like i'm not able to multiply my bullets, even though we're both kinda good at what we do, the amount of moves is limited for both of us. unless we could have that scissor attack and-

i think he sighed. later on, he'll tell me it was a prayer - even though he's an atheist.

i hear a quiet blip sound and then fuyuhiko begins to speak, back turned to me, as if i weren't even there. as if it wasn't to me… but i'm the only other human there? the fuck...

"okay, listen. this guy is kokichi ouma, the idiot peko was after. i know he may be your… type, but you need to fucking cooperate. it's about peko. we can't have him die." he grunts, slicing up the next monokuma. i'm close to dumbfounded, but when our eyes meet again, his hold no answer.

...type? i'm /anyone's/ type? this should be the least of my concerns, i know, but-

i have to turn around because monokumas don't just vanish on their own, but i still hear him lead that weird monologue. my remaining bullets melt like ice on a warm summer day.

"...i count on you when it comes to explaining this shit to him. i give you ten minutes. and try not to slice him up, idiot!" after that, the blip appears again, fuyuhiko grunts and picks up something else from under his jacket…

"what are you?!-" 

blonde presses a stun gun to his head, rolling an eye on me. "i really can't promise he'll explain it too well, but i have no time! just please be fucking coy with him and do whatever he wants so you don't end up dead! got it?! he won't hurt you, at least not mindfully!!" 

i only have a chance to let out a weak: "but-", not even a single syllable more, before a 'ZAP!' and smell of ozone fill the air. i can't even shake this off yet, but the fuyuhiko i encountered first is already before me, shamelessly pulling the bandage off his scarred eye with a grin. now when i see him closer, the marks are even more terrifying.

"...oh well, i assume fuyuhiko's in trouble againn! how cute of him to ask for help so nicely~" he babbles, hiding the katana back to its sash with a toothy smile. red iris shine with excitement as he sends me a glance and those scary scissors appear in his palms.

i swallow. or, i wish i could. my throat is suddenly so dry at the sight alone. in spite of the mess around us, i hear his careless, raspy tone just fine. he's enjoying himself… whoever he is.

"let's have us some fun, my little friend~"

ʷʰʸ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʳʸ  
_____________ なぜ試してみませんか ° • 

recklessly dodging robot claws and fangs, he hums something and giggles, long tongue let out. scissors cut into artificial fur and metal bones, were they butter. 

occupying myself with sniping a few monokumas with a heart in my throat, i hear that blip again… and a recorded monologue begins to play itself from somewhere within fuyuhiko's… or that… guy's uniform collar.

the quality of audio is rather good. i can even hear an echo of my 'BREAK!' in the background. i'm startled to hear familiar words: "okay, listen. this guy is kokichi ouma, the idiot peko was after. i know he may be your... type, but you need to fucking cooperate. it's about peko-"

it's… it's what he recorded before. apparently there's a device like that somewhere in his jacket… so it's easily accessible… f-for…

...what is going on?

there's some new blips and the recording starts again. i witness him babble like a gossipy middle schooler, all cocky ducking under some fangs.

"ehhhh? i can't slice 'im up? what a pain..." he groans like a kid being told to eat veggies, ignoring the subject of slicing - me. he seems to lead a monologue, like fuyuhiko did before. "let me decide on that, 'kay? you're always so /bossy/ and serious, fuyu! you forget to have fun! i know peko's kidnapped now and shit, but seriously!" he clicks his tongue, then finishes this up with a smirk. "...i'll see what i can do for you~"

the recording ends with a yet another beep and he fully throws himself into a fight with a giggle of enjoyment. "ahhhh, such a therapy to be /finally/ able to kick this motherfucker's ass!" curses and laughs lay so naturally in his previously serious voice. i stare at him dumbfounded, watching robots fall to the ground like cut grass.

new fuyuhiko wheezes and throws to me: "jump if ya dunnwanna lose your feet, honey!"

"what?-" the next thing i know is that my ankles bleed.

"aw- FUCK!" i screech, falling to the ground. my heart's pulsating in my ears. everything's spinning and there's only deep cuts in my feet, that's the only thing in the world right now, that's what sun's spinning around, t-that's-

"awwhhh, i fucken told you to jump, didn't i-" the guy groans, quickly getting rid of the last bears. he sighs, theatrically turning to face me, cleaning and hiding his scissors in one move. i try to look around and analyze, t-to… to calm down… ah, god, why's everything so foggy… why do i feel so weak? i don't even look down my legs, i-i don't want to-

...the monokumas… are all gone. that's the one thing that's clear… and a part of their silent bodies has… no legs at all?... cut off parts lay aside, scattered...

"ehh, and i wanted that move to look so cool. y'know, make 'em look like bowling pins? soo forceless and unable to run away, waiting for slaughter!~ all i had to do was cut low!" the blonde kneels next to me, humming as he picks up some bandage and gauze from his pocket. they look old, but clean. he begins to wrap up my ankles without a sensible word. all he says is gorey babble, which i don't pay much mind.

finally, he's done. "ehh, what a pain… guess we'll have to carry you around for a li'l bit! you're lucky, those aren't even all that deep!" he hums, smiling brightly. "bet we're gonna find some sanitizer in the city! maybe not all pharmacies are plundered /that/ much…"

"h-hey, hold up-" my voice is creaky as i look 'fuyuhiko' in the eyes.

crimson eyes… his single one was olive before.

"...who… are you? i-i think you said you're fuyuhiko, but-" 

he hushes me, pressing a finger to my lips. "shush, honey. your brain's gonna hurt now, save your energy." he takes a breath in. "crusty lips, by the way. moving on, y'see, me and fuyu are, uh… two people. in one body. before you say anything!-" he sees me try to open my mouth again. "-i know it's a very trivial explanation, /however/, i don't intend to romanticize this, i just ain't a fucking doctor to explain it better than that. it's the split personality thing! got it?"

uh… u-uh…  
"uh?..."

he sighs, sitting back. "you don't get it, do you?"

i shake my head, though i'm still really struggling to understand. he groans.

"...aaanyway." blonde sighs. "when i don't cover up my eye 'n don't get moody for every single comment regarding my height, call me jack." he offers me a hand. left hand.

...fuyuhiko held the katana in his right one.

if… if that's a lie, then… it's a very fucking good one? that's- that's all i'm saying- i uh… i might be lightheaded from the wounds-

"uh… kokichi…" i uncertainly reach out to shake left hands with him. that sure feels different. "kokichi ouma." he nods to my words. "right, the captive baby, ain't cha? peko was so set on that mission, all by herself… we couldn't leave her, obviously! so me and fuyu sneaked on the helicopter to follow…"

i snort unwillingly. "you're gonna be a future foundation trainee forever if you keep on doing that sort of shit." 

fuyuhiko would be probably pissed off, but now he just laughs. "i know, right?! it's stronger than me, though! peko's unlike the others!" he suddenly leans closer and unceremoniously picks me up over his shoulder. i yelp, stunned. "h-hey, what-"

"your ankles are no good right now. told ya, gonna have to carry you around~ it ain't a problem, don't worry! we're just gonna go downstairs and find some meds, since apparently i'm not allowed to kill cute people anyway!"

a wave of cold sweat hits me. "c-come on, let me go!" i struggle, in vain. his grip is fucking strong. but i can't… i-i can't allow myself to be moved around like that! he can do whatever he wants to me and…

...i can't explain it, but… something in the way he mentioned that i'm 'cute' and used the word 'kill' in the same sentence… the scissors… t-the bandage… red eyes… that grin a-and tongue and-

oh fuck, everything's spinning. this time, it's not anxiety or fear. it's bloodloss and exhaustion, i struggle to analyze; my breath thickens. i struggle still and jack (or fuyuhiko, whatever) is saying something to me, but i can't distinguish words anymore. everything falls into darkness and the last thing i see is his striped uniform jacket's back.

ⁱᵗ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵘʳᵗ  
_______________ 痛くない ° • 

i wake up to the smell of warm milk.

"gee, i thought you died." i hear a grumble and the smell grows near. " ugh, that idiot genocider jack doing whatever he wa-"

like a starved lion, i snatch the glass of milk and drink it up in greedy slurps. it's… hot. burning my tongue and throat. i feel it sink into my mouth, like lava. i can't taste anything and my hands are numb of heat, too. i break into a cough, suddenly struggling to catch my breath.

"jesus fucking christ!" fuyuhiko curses, pulling the glass away from me. "i was just about to let it rest! i didn't know you're such a milk loving bastard!" he flinches. "disgusting!"

i'm still clearing my throat when i feel my stomach rumble. by the looks fuyuhiko gives me, i assume it's very much hearable, too. i wince in shame, looking away. "i… kind of forgot it's been three days since…" 

he silences me with a gesture, frowning. it's kind of a relief. god, my throat hurts. "i get that, we all forget to eat. but here? you want to put me in fucking danger?!" 

i shrug, angry. "excuse me? you were the one to cut my legs open!"

now he's mad, face glowing red. "that wasn't me! that… guy was genocide jack!" 

"yeah, right, like i'll believe it!" i bark back, trying to stand up. 

fuyuhiko (or whatever) lays his hands on my shoulders and heavily keeps me down. his single eye glows with anger as he leans above me. he's… stronger than he looks. much stronger than i am, anyway. his fingers borderline painfully dig into my skin. all i can do is challengingly answer the stare and try not to show how scared i am.

"you think i'd put up some fucking puppet show just for fun?! look around you! the world is fucking messed up! i don't have time for bullshit like that!" he lets me go with a light push, which he was clearly holding back from being harsh. he exhales with a little 'tch…' and slowly walks a circle around the room - a… hospital observation room, i realize - trying to calm down. i observe him carefully, slightly moving numb tongue around my closed shut mouth.

if… if he's acting, then…

...wait, who am i kidding?

i look at him groan, then hold his head in his palms for a moment, before he hopelessly turns to me again. this time, his anger is more like frustration. pain… annoyance? fear... it's all so messed up and so terribly real. i can't… stand it.

don't look at me like that… don't look at me like my people in the orphanage did! i have no power here, either… i really, really don't…

i look away, hands weakly balling up into fists on my lap.

"i'm… i'm sorry. i didn't know jack would hurt you- no, i was certain he wouldn't do it. i-i know it sounds sci-fi at this point and… i so wish it could be just that." until now hidden exhaustion beams in his voice. "but it's my reality. i've… almost completely tamed him now. just like peko asked me to, so i could join the future foundation. he doesn't… kill people." blonde pulls his collar away - a small recording device is planted there, on the inner side. "this is here so we can communicate… we don't share memories o-or thoughts… or personalities. he, genocide jack, is my sort of secret power. a stun gun does the trick." he clicks his tongue and drops his hand. "though if i use it too often, my brain will fry… so it's not so simple, either."

i can't help but glare at him. i want to open my mouth, but then… close it. finally, i speak the first foggy memory that comes to my mind. at last, i connect the dots.

"...genocide jack… t-that… serial killer, who was all over the talk shows back then, when?..." fuyuhiko nods, ever so slowly. "that was him. i've… never killed anyone like that, y'know? for /fun/. as a hitman, well, my job was what it was… but killing was never the goal." his hand grasps material on his chest, around where the future foundation pin would be, over his heart. "the goal was to protect my young master, peko. w-well… my friend. part of her last order for me was so i would stop calling her 'young master', or she would never speak to me again… and so, i'm doing my best, just-" he sighs with frustration. "i-i still… can't let her get hurt! she was always so good to me… thanks to her i've learned how to deal with jack. and she also saved my worthless ass more times than necessary…"

he drops it here to take the milk from a nearby messy shelf and handle it to me. the glass is a bit chiller. "...should be okay by now. it gets colder quicker than you think."

i don't really oppose, brain still digesting all that information… all i do is smell the fluid closer and frown in disgust. "this smells like fucking baby milk-" i mutter, for fuyuhiko to shrug.

"because that's literally what it is, moron." he throws a bag on the bed next to me - powdered infant formula. oh, for fuck's sake- "that's all i found. we're in a hospital, in case you're wondering. it's the building we were on top of before. i had enough fun turning on the power and finding a single working sink, anyway! of course it had to be the one pissing with boiling water… ugh." hiko runs a hand through his hair. "...but, well, you did need /something/. we're gonna find better stuff soon, for now this will gotta do."

no apology for lack of resources… because why would he apologize? he did everything he could for a guy he barely knows, but who fainted… well, at least partly because of him. speaking of - that part got an apology.

...he didn't lie.

"i uh… i don't want to press on you or anything, but. i've heard some monokumas in the building." he sighs, walking over to me again. "this town's got enough bullshit going on and i'm not here to hurt you. actually, if you want, you can… call me your ally." his honest stare meets mine, when he offers me a hand. right one. his expression is pure and determined. "i'll understand if you wanna be distanced after what happened. the truth it's… it'll be fucking terrible around here. it may be even worse than what was up there."

i can't… i don't- i shouldn't…

peko. i could trust peko. peko and her branch of future foundation nearly saved me… they were just unlucky, really...

i still have things to think through and this- disgusting powder milk to drink, but before i notice or stop it, my small, sweaty hand already lands in fuyuhiko's.

well, shit. that happened.


	5. Chapter 5

uh… aight. okay. we, me and fuyuhiko, did the handshake thing.

…i mean… his hand /did/ hold the scissors that cut me, but even so, like, i'm not an idiot? i can see when someone lies, i can also see when they don't… guess i was just a bit startled with that ridiculous amount of BULLSHIT i got thrown into. i'm becoming paranoid and totally closed off… and that's not right. i always need some trust, at least so i can distrust. 

and, after all, i felt with my own skin how shitty it is to be in this hell hole towa city turned into with no back up. teaming up with this… hitman and his funky murderer alter ego really can't be /that/ bad anyway, right? huh. i'm sorta convinced.

but he doesn't have to know any of that. it sounds lame in my head alone.

"...for now… let's just say we're okay, i guess." i sigh, taking my hand away and focusing on sipping the awful baby milk. at least all i have to worry about now is the scent. my tongue still doesn't give much response when it comes to taste, probably thanks to the burns. well, now that's for the better, i guess. 

"i can work with that." fuyuhiko nods, reaching in to his inner jacket pocket. "shall we move onto more crucial things now?" before i can even nod, he goes on. "cool. i met one of the monokuma kids, as i call them. they gave me this." he handles me a familiar tiny box with a green ribbon. "i guessed it's something for the hacking gun. why else would they care to handle us something like this?"

i carefully take the box and plop it open - just like i expected, there's a green pendrive inside, identical to the one i got from that servant in the warriors of hope base. this time, the label on it reads: 'RECHARGE! BREAK x60'.

"i think this is my bullet supply." i hum, looking around. fuyuhiko gives a wince of realization, quickly unpins the gun from his belt and handles it to me. "t-there. sorry, had to manage it somehow when you fainted. guess jack put it here."

i blink and look at him, all serious. 

don't get me wrong, my hands /yearn/ to grab the handle. they want to drum their fingers on the surface of the gun, one thing that hasn't changed at all. i want to keep it more than i should. but... but i have to look at it logically.

"...wouldn't it be better if you kept the gun, anyway? y'know, i uh, i have no goddamn idea about many things... and after all, it's some future foundation thing."

the blonde glances back before smirking. there's some… respect in that smile? "peko gave it to you, so it's yours. besides, i don't wanna have to be constantly saving your ass!" there he is, the angry child. "you /will/ get a hang of this and it better happen quick, because there's no time to screw around!"

i smile cutely and nod in thanks as he pushes the gun into my hands. okay, cool! guess i'm keeping that! that's very good, actually. i really don't want to be even more forceless and totally dependant on someone else. i have to do my best not to show how relieved i am.

occupying myself to get rid of stupid thoughts, i find the usb port and pin the pendrive in. megaphone chirps a command for being fully stocked - though only for forty bullets.

"a storage limit, huh..." fuyuhiko frowns, staring at the screen. "weird. there shouldn't be one."

"well, i told you that whole… weird ass guy hanging with the kids probably did something to the gun. he mentioned i can upgrade it though, or whatever?" i take a few sips of watery milk, staring at the screen still. "don't know what that really means, but alright. he also gave me a similar box before. there was MOVE on the pendrive, so i could have it installed." i scratch my head. "hold up, you said something about a monokuma kid?..."

"yeah, those little shits with monokuma helmets. there's actually a fuck ton of them, it's probably all kids in the city. they cooperate with warriors of hope and the robots. they even command monokumas at times…" he smirks sourily at my surprised face. "what, i've been there since day one."

a question freezes at the back of my tongue when he snatches an empty glass as soon as i'm done and puts it on the shelf from before. "now, try to stand up. it's been a while, so maybe you can at least walk." he moves away to give me space, arms crossed on his chest.

in a way, he… also has the peko vibe i felt from her and her underlings before. though a little more of a bastard edition… or just straight out dumbass one.

i let my feet touch the floor and force to stand up from the mattress, prepared for pain. to my relief, it's not even half as strong as i expected - actually, it's fairly mild. when i take a step forward, however-

"goddammit- no way i can walk like that. fuck." i curse, carefully standing my foot back alongside the other. "i think it needs more time…" i sigh and send a glance fuyuhiko's way, suddenly hit with inspiration.

"it feels a bit better than before, though… what'd you do to me when i was out, huuh? gave my feet a magical kiss or whatevs? i knew you're a perv!"

that look on his face! cool and composed one second, burning up right after. "i didn't!-" he flushes as he growls at me and it brings my mood up immediately. "i-i don't do any of that sick stuff, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"p-pfft…" i can't help a giggle, until i have to wipe fake tears from my eyes. "ahh, you're such a silly baby, hiko~ don't blame me for your character! you're the one worked up over a joke!"

"tch!" he scoffs, then clears his throat, looking away (still angry). "a-anyway. it's a hospital, right? i just found some sanitizer and applied to your wounds! then flipped the bandage around and put it back on… i don't have another clean one and there was barely anything useful around… a-and if anyone ever wanted anything to do with touching idiots like you for no reason, that'd be past genocide jack, not me!" he frowns and i bring a finger to my lips in thought.

"riight, he did say about not being allowed to kill cute boys as he picked me up… sorryyy, guess i'm a bit off after the servant guy apparently undressed me in my sleep~" i throw that in lightly, as a joke, but in reality i still want to shiver whenever i think about it. fuyuhiko gives me an odd stare, too.

"...he… undressed you? while you were unconscious?"

i blink. what got into him? gee, maybe he really likes that stuff.

"i mean, yeah. he told me himself. apparently did all that to wash and repair my clothes, but…" suddenly, i feel a need to cross my arms on my chest - and i give into it. "...the hell i know, right? can't confirm what exactly happened."

even though i seemed kind of odd there for a sec, i immediately jump to fixing it with some upbeat teasing. "but hey, don't make /him/ the pervert! /you/ were the one to go around my feet, like some sort of dog! you think i'm gonna give you information if you lick my sweaty toes? jokes on you, i don't know shit!"

"just- shut up!" i do, puffing up my cheeks and enjoying myself. red fuyuhiko takes a deep breath, struggling. "again, all i did was sanitize your wounds and flip the bandage. okay?" i nod with a grin. "okay… cool. geez, i think i'm gonna puke because of your disgusting jokes… ugh." he rolls his eyes. "...let's just get out of here. you'll have to climb on my back for now or whatever."

"yaaaay, a piggyback ride! i haven't had one in such a long time!" i cheerfully babble as kuzuryu comes over to help me get on. it's not so comfy, but not like i'll complain.

he's… sorta stinky. like, a shower wouldn't kill, y'know? but i remain silent there, afraid to lose support. plus… it's fucking embarrassing, but i don't want to let go.

i… actually realize how every single contact with a living person could exhaust me so much. i literally haven't touched, let alone heard or saw a human being for months before. it's fucking obvious i'm going nuts! even the handshake, even peko's slap - it's like i can still feel all of those.

great! now that the problem is known, i can purposefully ignore it and trick my mind into thinking it doesn't exist!

with that, we leave little observation room - both on fuyuhiko's legs.

\---

"okay, now listen." the blonde is cautiously looking around, echo of his steps hitting the empty hospital hallway. "we have that advantage now that the monokumas may take us for one, slow person and send less of themselves our way. there comes your role." he turns his head to peek at me. "you have to use the fact there's less of them and shoot while you can. got it?"

"mhm!~" i lightly lean back and set my gun to BREAK, the recharge pendrive safely in my pocket. so hiko's my moving platform! the height difference isn't amazing, but it's still pretty fun to use someone as a vehicle. of course we'd be better off separately, but this can work, either. duh, it /has/ to work now, that we have no other option.

"eventually, if we're in a very shitty situation, i could zap a few monokumas with my stun gun. but then i'll need to find more batteries for it, or else it's useless. i have only a few shots and once i drain them, that means no more genocide jack on demand. speaking of, i can't really use him now, i still need a while of cooldown..."

he's saying some other stuff when we continue to walk, but i really stopped listening after every important thing has been told. empty corridors have us totally uncovered and i can't help looking around a little, too.

...damn, we're both in a pretty shitty situation because of genocide jack. like, if he didn't cut my ankles-

i jolt up and straighten, having a monokuma appear behind the corner.

it's maw and blade-like claws - they're all covered in blood. e-everything. everything is!-

"shit, shit!-" i curse, barely aiming in time; fuck, i got distracted! i can feel kuzuryu's hand begin to slip away from supporting me, towards his stun gun, but then i finally manage my shit together and thrust BREAK straight into the red eye. not like it's that hard when the monokuma got so close!

"fuck!" i frown, but then i quickly take the reins before fuyuhiko has time to scold me; somehow i figured he's the type. "i mean- sowwy! i'ww suwewy do bettew next timey~"

it's also a way to hide my scared voice with some outrageous acting.

i feel him take a slightly shaky breath in. he's probably more pissed off than scared - and that's the goal. "just… fucking focus, moron!" is all he spits, before walking over the silent bear and moving forward.

i don't have too much time to speak for next… how long was it, half an hour? an hour? aiming at bears over his head and above his shoulders, sticking close to the other guy's back, praying we don't get noticed. but when i do speak, i do my darnest to annoy fuyuhiko. i know it may distract his mind, but it'll sharpen his senses instead! so hey, good for me!

and annoying him helps me, too… i'm- i'm just doing anything not to look at eventual bodies we stumble upon… messed up, not moving - bodies. not people... just their cold, meaty shells. of course they're there from time to time, supporting walls, or just laying around, limp, massacred. i just- i refuse to acknowledge them and let fuyuhiko know i'm disturbed.

...anyway, uh, remember i said he's pretty strong? hell yeah he is! he's been carrying me for a fairly long time now and doesn't seem bothered at all. orr i'm just as light as a feather and he doesn't even notice my weight. that's the other option.

"...hey, try shooting MOVE at that gacha machine." the blonde points to the round objects we suddenly pass by - they're hidden in a recess that's really just a past corridor filled with debris. there's a lot of that weird stuff in the entire building - huge pieces of concrete and tiles and wires, then sometimes holes so deep i can't see the bottom of them… because of these we have to enter different rooms to walk through these obstacles all the way around.

but the gacha machines… they're so shiny and new-looking. black and white. no way they've been in this hospital for long with this mess going around, especially that there's a monokuma face all over the display-

"eh? why?" i dunno how to explain it, but i can /feel/ fuyuhiko rolls his eyes. or, i'm going insane.

"the lightbulbs are green and eye-sore, just like the bullet? it may be another thing these children set up. they know you need to recharge the gun, they may know more about it, too." he tilts his head in that direction, again.

...hm. i may do him a favour for once.

"alllrighty, baby! one gacha coming right up!" i swiftly turn the right function on and shoot over fuyuhiko's shoulder. "MOVE!"

the machine coaxes slightly, as if it were to fall, but then it just rumbles and gives out… food?

"well, i didn't expect that!" i whine over fuyuhiko's ear as he leans to pick up the mysterious bars and what looks like a pocket bottle of water. "i actually wanted a cute bikini monokuma figurine!"

"the hell is wrong with you…" hiko mutters again, hiding resources on himself. "anyway, that's good. it's not that easy to find food in the city at this point. we're gonna have it once we get to a… slightly safer spot. keep an eye out for those machines. they may be even more useful than we think."

that… was a tad meta way to phrase it. but maybe that's just kuzuryu culture, eh. how could peko stand this guy as her private guard?...

more corridors (monokumas and bodies), staff rooms (monokumas and bodies), patient rooms (monokumas and bodies). we're pushing forward and climbing lower and lower downstairs. god, how big can a hospital be?... gacha isn't too satisfying as for the amount of crap we're dealing with, i gotta admit...

i rest my elbow on hiko's shoulder (which i know will piss him off) as we walk up to yet another door and he slowly opens it up. i tense up, ready for attack. ugh, hopefully no monokumas in…

...side?

this is fairly different from other hospital rooms - clean, black and white tile is all over the floor, there's velvet couches and those thick red curtains are covering the walls. and in front of us there's standing an arcade machine. it's almost like a cheap casino.

...first a gacha, then this? it's partly the same shade of green as a certain bullet, too…

"before we go any further, let's get a little bit of rest." fuyuhiko carries me over to one of the couches and carefully helps me get in there with a small grunt. "it seems fairly well-sheltered. and, i'd like to take a look at your ankles. i have an idea."

"pfft, sure you do." i make a kissy face, slipping off my shoes. it's nice to finally change a position! this time kuzuryu doesn't answer, which is pretty dissatisfying. hmm, i can't overdose the jokes, or he'll become immune too quickly… though who knows? he's one hothead for sure.

he kneels in front of the sofa and carefully unwraps the bandage - then sanitizes the wounds, probably with the same thing as before… but next, he reaches out for a little monochromatic tube i've never seen before.

"what's that, lube?" i try to joke with my teeth clenched. the sanitizer is kinda itching. kinda very much so. i need a phrase the same dumb as the pain is strong.

"no, it's…" fuyuhiko just sighs in disappointment at my words and handles me the tube after getting a little bit of substance onto his fingers. i read out loud when he applies the thing to my wounds. it's… comfortingly chill.

"'miracle monocream! a super fun original monokuma branded cream for any not-so-serious silly wounds! just apply on harmed, sanitized skin and the result will show up within a few hours!'…" i look at the other boy with a frown. "well, that's oddly convenient. is this some sort of joke?"

"we'll see in a few hours, apparently. it fell out with the food before." hiko wipes his hands into his uniform, then finally gets up and takes a seat next to me with a sigh. "we'll give it a sec before moving forward again."

there's a few seconds of silence before my stomach expresses hunger for me. fuyuhiko groans in annoyance, to which i just pull an innocent smiley face.

"y'know, about that food…" before i finish, two bars of granola with monokuma on the wrapper land on my knees.

"geez, you're like a middle schooler. how old even are you?" fuyuhiko grumbles, unwrapping another bar for himself. i puff up my cheeks.

"i'm sixteen! or seventeen, actually. time flew pretty fast in the lockdown." i'm quick to unceremoniously open the monokuma treat and bite into it. to my disappointment, i still can't feel taste too well… all i can say is that it's sweet. at least the structure is funny...

"damf, i'm an olf prick!" i let out with my mouth full.

"tch. well, i'm eighteen. so i'm your /senior/, anyway." fuyuhiko frowns.

"...you can't buy alcohol still."

"h-how does it even matter? besides, the shops are up for grabs now. if anyone wanted, they could take anything."

"ohhh, cool! are we gonna do that?"

"of course not! i'm on duty! /and/ we're both minors, and- ugh…" kuzuryu groans, hiding his face in his palm. "this is gonna be a farce, isn't it?..."

"hmm…" i tilt my head and push a finger into my cheek with a smile. "and how do you think?"

he answers my stare and he just seems so /fucking/ pissed off it makes me grin right away.

"seems like one of the most annoying ones in my life so far. top ten, definitely."

ohh, he shouldn't have said that. he basically sentenced himself to me doing everything i ever could to get to spot number one.


	6. Chapter 6

"hmm…" i blink, aiming my hacking gun at the arcade machine. all that's left is pulling the trigger. "move?..."

"why… are you doing that?" i turn to slightly confused fuyuhiko, while the machine chirps and shakes a little, powering up.

"doing what?"

"saying bullet names out loud when you use them. it's fucking stupid." he frowns, crossing his arms on his chest.

i huff. "seriously? we're having an armageddon and you're gonna occupy yourself with that sort of crap? thought you were the 'senior' or whatever?" i casually turn around and hobble closer to the machine. my ankles aren't doing the best, but i can still limp, especially after some rest.

fuyuhiko sighs, but follows suit. we both wait for a sec before an animation of a green, round monokuma pops up onscreen.

i have to stifle a laugh. /ball monokuma/. it looks so ugly and ridiculous, i wanna give it a hug! what a poor creature! i unironically pity that disgusting design, it's just so bad it's funny!

then we see: the title (MONOKU-MAN, obviously it has to be 'inspired' by something else), START button and… the 'player' has 'kokichi ouma' next to it? how do they know? why am i a part of some shitty rip-off with a round monokuma in it?

"may be info coded in your gun?... you said they messed with it back there." as if reading my thoughts, fuyuhiko offers an explanation. well, it's a fairly realistic one, i gotta say.

i press a random button and the machine blips. the title screen fades and a yellow writing TUTORIAL and some info appear instead:

'welcome to MONOKU-MAN! apparently this is your first time playing, so here's a little explanation.

your job is to complete the objective the arcade machine presents to you. the riddle will involve the next room, filled to brim with monokumas… use the machine's function and the hacking gun wisely to pass the game for bonus points!

what are bonus points you ask? let's just say a certain SOMEONE cares a lot how many you get! you could always get rid of monokumas traditionally, just to unlock the exit, but i assure you, you DO want all the bonuses you can get!

from the moment of powering up the machine on, it's connected to your gun - so don't even think about cheating!

good luck and have fun, kokichi!'

i frown, leaning back a little. "i really don't appreciate being directly addressed like that."

fuyuhiko groans. "it's just a fucking kids' game. which one of us is worried about the weird stuff again?"

"uhh, you? mister 'your feet look hurt, let me touch them multiple times'?" he gets flustered, pissed off and spits some unpleasant comments my way - and i grin with satisfaction. like hell i'm gonna allow him to have the last word!

but something bugs me… 'a certain someone'? that sounds oddly suspicious. why would anyone care about some game points?... something about it and the gun bothers me, but i can't put a finger on what it is exactly.

when i press a button again, the machine shows a view of what i can assume is the hospital lobby… wait, it has to be the next room! so we finally /are/ at the bottom! i can see the exit, too! the damned problem are the monokumas standing in our way… i bite the inside of my cheek in thought. fuck, that… that really is a worrying amount of bear ass.

i trail my finger over the display. there's a little yellow table at the top... the objective. to sneak through the room and not get noticed, huh? also none of my bullets are recommended… the main entrance to the hospital is marked as the goal. i see… it really is like a game, just i'm my own avatar!

"look, if we go this way, they won't see us." i point to the reception desk and the other wall. the debris and remains of furniture just happen to shelter it from the robots' sight. "or, y'know. they shouldn't… to be fair, these monokumas are kinda weird… like, why aren't they moving at all?"

"they're probably programmed to stay like that. so you can… i-i dunno, get entertained solving this, playing with your life? you can't resonate with the damned kids too much. everything is a video game to them." fuyuhiko sighs. "i've seen a few of these machines before, but i never got close 'cause there were children nearby, setting things up- why're you smiling?"

"oh?" shit, he noticed. i chuckle as if nothing happened and look at him, eyes glowing. "i dunno, it's just been a while since i played an actual video game, you know? with rules and controls and all!"

he gives me a stare and i can tell he's questioning my sanity. honestly, can't blame him. monoku-man of all things shouldn't be something to be excited about.

"uhh, anyway... let's do whatever they want from us and get out of here. i hate hospitals…" the last part is thrown under his breath.

"hey, don't be so grumpy! at least we know for sure that the game rooms are a safe space!" before this, we were resting for about twenty minutes and not a thing happened. it was all blissfully silent and we had our granola in royal conditions.

"ughh, whatever. let's just go and try to be quiet." the blonde mutters, then turns around for me to climb on his back. it's a fairly simple task and soon i'm in my shooting position - proudly wielding my gun as we enter the lobby-

"MONOKU-MAN MAP AVAILABLE." the gun screams, almost giving both of us a heart attack.

shuffle of a monokuma foot sounds nearby.

"jesus fucking christ! mute this bitch!" kuzuryu hisses diving behind the reception desk, as i'm panically checking the megaphone all over the place. n-no, i didn't press anything, everything is the way it was!...

i turn the gun to look at the side panel-

"oh shit, okay, i can see the whole lobby from here now!" i whisper and outstand the gun for fuyuhiko to check it out. it's like a minimalized view of what we saw on the machine… just super pixelized and referring a certain popular arcade game even more. so we can check the bears' position even in field… that's what it meant by my gun being 'connected'?...

"okay, cool! it didn't have to scream its ass out!" kuzuryu curses and carefully stands up. "now… tell me where to go and be ready to shoot shit if anything goes wrong."

i nod and lean closer to him, holding the gun in front of us. not the most graceful position, but a safe one.

i carefully instruct fuyuhiko, mainly from memory. when i don't speak, it's so quiet i swear i can hear the particles of dust - kuzuryu's breath is literally silent. it's like the monokumas aren't even there, though i /feel/ they are. ugh, this is even worse than them being loud dumbasses!

when we finally burst outside, i'm pale from tension. fuyuhiko wipes his forehead with a sigh and i peek at the gun, which plays a short melody. the side panel reads 'VICTORY!', then there appears an icon of coins with 'x300', and then... a leadboard? why would they even need it-

"huh?" i squint at the highscore, the only other score except for my own. that name… why exactly do i have to see it now, of all times? t-the hell?! why does it have to be /her/?!

"the fuck is maki harukawa doing here?"

"eh?" i show the screen to him. hiko moves his shoulders almost right away. wow, he either reads super quickly, or doesn't care. "dunno. maybe that's just someone else with a hacking gun they got re-programmed…" his brows furrow. "hold up, harukawa?… i think i heard that name before..."

"mhm, tell me about it…" i mutter sourily, glancing the name onscreen before it fades away. my thoughts are so messy. motherfucking harukawa. what is she doing here? of all the crazy things that could happen, did i really have to get reminded she is alive?

i really did hope that i wouldn't have to see her anymore. not in my lifetime.

a-anyway, what are the odds she has a similar gun with the same functions as me? are there, in general, more people the servant talked with? are there more people who had to deal with the warriors of hope directly? more people with-

-with the wristbands.

i didn't think about it too much so far, but… fuyuhiko doesn't have a wristband like i do. and while i was in the warriors of hope base, unconscious, he was out there in the city…

...so it's safe to assume the only place that gives out wristbands and downgraded hacking guns is that huge, flying base thing i got thrown out of. the thing where the servant guy and warriors of hope are.

i also have a very… dangerous assumption, that the wristbanders are all captives, just like me. it's odd but… the pieces are just a bit too perfect. my hunch is screaming so loudly. i struggle to stifle the panic and calm my heartbeat.

okay, to conclude this somehow: whoever else uses the monoku-man machines, also uses a reprogrammed hacking gun and has a wristband - which they got from the warriors of hope. they may be captives… so they may be exactly like me. to some extent, of course. i know no details… but the thought that i ain't a snowflake makes me feel somewhat determined. besides that nauseating reminder harukawa is still out there, unconsciously fighting on my side.

at least that fucking bitch is doing something good for once. i won't believe she's dead; the worst always stay up the longest! though a part of me kind of hopes-... n-nevermind.

hmpf. as if i'm just gonna sit back and let her hit all the highscores! it's been a good couple of years!

"kokichi!" fuyuhiko growls, fixing his position. "focus!"

i snap out of my thoughts and look to where he's focusing - a lone robot roams nearby. it's half-striped, with a siren on top of its head… wait, i've seen this one before-

in the moment the robot lays its eyes on us, hell unfolds.

\---

"ugh… t-that… that was plain unfair!" i gasp, staring at my gun. "they took so many bullets!..."

"maybe they'd take less if you were actually hitting them!" also winded, but not as much as i am (which is ridiculous, since he /is/ the one carrying both of us), fuyuhiko groans and kicks the silent corpse of a siren monokuma. i yelled something like that struggling to aim at one of a dozen bears it summoned to us - and it just fit. siren goddamn monokuma. it's just like a sweet gamer girl luring all the 'nice guys' to her posts on social media.

ugh. i'm so mad at myself. i got distracted with some stupid whore's name. i take out my anger on furiously pinning the BREAK drive into the hacking gun to fully restore my bullets.

"anyway… what do we do? like, for real? we should try 'n get out of town, no?" i exhale, leaning forward to rest on fuyuhiko's shoulder after hiding the pendrive. it seems obvious now, doesn't it?... these brats are only focused on this place and making it a paradise or whatever. towa city is basically an island, so if we find a bridge and cross it, it's not our fucking problem anymore. i-i mean-

"...you don't know what's on the land, though." kuzuryu names my worry. "but that's true, we can try to at least escape the damned kids and contact future foundation."

i frown. "you can't do it now?"

"first, i don't have a right device. second, i'm pretty sure the clever lead kids took care of that, spreading jamming waves all over the city. they've got all this machinery, bet they figured it out. our signal wouldn't be able to reach the satellite…" he sighs. "but, i suppose this /is/ towa city, so there are dozens of electronic shops. the priority is to arrive at the bridge, but we should also search for…"

yeahh, i stopped listening to him at this point, whatevs. he's the legs, so he decides where we walk, anyway. i'm just glad to have a set goal. it's… actually a bit comforting.

and so, we go down the street in a few minutes. for me it's the first time seeing the city after three days.

and it's… terrifying. so terrifying, that thoughts about maki fade right away.

the bodies are everywhere, there's barely ever a wall under which don't lay any corpse. dismembered, thrust open, skinless, pierced… i feel sick. i feel so sick, god- i-is that… is that white thing a bone?...

and the smell… i realize that some of these people are dead from the start, over seventy two hours ago. i can /feel it/.

i stare at their belongings, some still scattered around, untouched - though most purses, bags and backpacks are already plundered.

of a sudden there's a dustied baby pacifier, laying on the sidewalk together with an empty pram a few meters aside. my blood freezes.

...what's happening to the babies? the smallest kids that'd stay in adults' care? fuyuhiko was able to find infant formula in the hospital, out of all the stuff, as if it was the only thing left unused… my insides violently tangle into knots and it's very, very hard to take a next breath upon seeing these terrible images in my head- ugh, god, i hate my brain! what the fuck!... why did i have to imagine that?... what the hell is wrong with me?...

i should… take it easy. obviously, the children would take care of other children, right?...

...wait, who am i kidding?

kids aren't nice, kids /are/ little dipshits from the start. they're able to gang up on weaker individuals if they only fancy, for no actual reason. they're able to look down on you, driven with their own 'logic'. bet they'd strangle you with bare hands if they only had a chance!-

...w… wait... no, i should stop. this is the manipulation!

i picture monaca laughing her ass off at me and i clench my teeth. i'm being just as forceless as she predicted i would be!

that's the point: the kids want to kill all the adults… they want to make us think the gap between them and the other group is impossible to cross. that we're enemies.

...we're fucking not?...

what the hell even are me and hiko? are teenagers kids or adults? it clearly makes no sense to me that we're sentenced to be with adults. not so long ago, i…

me and my group of friends… we…, we were just goofing around after classes in fifth grade, hiding from our caretakers, eating stolen candy...

...i'm so not ready for adulthood, anyway. i'm not an adult, i'm not, and i feel like i'll never be! fuyuhiko doesn't seem like an adult, either… or does he?...

...adults have to be all this… responsible and serious and all and… fuyuhiko seems to manage, but... how the fuck am i supposed to do this myself? i'm just a kid! i'm just an idiot! i can lie all i want, but it won't change the fact i have no fucking idea what to do!...

i have no parents to turn to. i never have. my friends, they… i don't know where they even are… i'm all alone.

in a world bleeding out from the apocalypse, i'm slowly turning into an adult and i'm not even noticing, i'm letting it all slip away. just like nagisa said: 'maybe the changes are happening deep on the inside and he doesn't even know yet'...

...i-i don't… i don't know what should i do?... i don't feel like it… i don't want to grow up!

sudden realization of that fear hits a bit too hard. or maybe it's also the fact now i know maki is somewhere /near/, too.

two things that fucking suck and appear way too rapidly.

perhaps a tear or two falls behind fuyuhiko's collar, because he shrugs and turns to me. i barely manage to smirk and wipe my face in time.

"huh? missed looking at my pretty face?~" he just groans and rolls his eyes.

"no, just- tch, nevermind!"

man, i should be more careful. a little bit more of that and he could figure out i'm terrified like a baby.

...not like he'd be wrong.

\---

the next two hours or so aren't too interesting. i'm losing sense of time so easily… this day feels like weeks one second, the other time it feels like a few minutes. the sickening crimson sky doesn't help telling time at all. i'm pretty sure it could just turn black one second and that'd be the only way we could tell it's nighttime.

it's so fucking weird to see the world like this. and it's so fucking weird to realize that maki still exists!...

but there's a few good things, i guess? like my gun. yeah, focus on the gun! peko's baby. it's so cool, the most amazing thing i've ever had in my hands! such a pity it got downgraded… i wanna bring all its functions back! like PARALYZE. it was my favorite, now that i think about it!

aaand i /think/ fuyuhiko is more good than bad? for now. at least i have someone to poke fun at. getting carried around is nice, too! we're like a real video game duo! i mean, i'm kinda useless by myself for now, but i'm apparently doing enough good just shootin', since we didn't need to bring up genocide jack or even fuyuhiko's katana… 

speaking of, ever since i'm on his back, the sword is by his side. he told me he doesn't want to use it, because he isn't sure how would he do with me sticking so close. he's never fought with a human backpack before, so he's afraid he could slice me up by accident. the same actually applies to him using jack.

uh, as you can predict, i've had enough slicing for today. both a sword and scissors sound bad. besides, i feel like i wouldn't enjoy being accidentally tossed aside for him to use any of these, too. so it's just more motivation to shoot well.

walking through the city, we check out a few electronic shops in search of some way of contact - and my fanboy side awakens. i babble whatever tech news i have from all these months ago and fuyuhiko is effectively on edge in a span of five minutes.

little does he know, i do all that not to let him know how jarring it is for me to see all these expensive, normally priceless devices messed up on the ground, like trash. i've been waiting for some of their premieres so badly… and now barely any are on the shelves and even fewer are in decent condition. all the shops are like that. because of broken front windows, there's glass everywhere. it's crunching under hiko's shoes as he runs down the street, passing by what used to be towa's beautiful gadget shops, the town's pride - but what now is shattered to pieces.

ultimately, we don't find anything that could help us - but at least we're getting closer to the bridge, defeating a few monokumas on the way... we can only hope to find a phone or something while already on land.

i blink, suddenly feeling like i'm forgetting something. like something doesn't match up about kuzuryu… fuck, what is it? think, kokichi, think! there are many odd things, but which are /worrying/? that terrible feeling that i'm missing something rises. why?... i was alright with him at this point.

i don't know why am i thinking about this now, of all times… i just felt a hunch and!-

"HEYYY!"

"what the?!- a fucking giant!" i flinch, aiming the gun. it's just a useless tick, the hacking is nothing against a human… especially such an enormous one.

he appears next to us in a split second, just enough for fuyuhiko to fix his position. it seems like a martial arts instinct he has or whatever, but i don't think he'd do much against this guy, anyway. he's a walking mountain of flesh and his face is so fucking tense, that-

"oh no, no scared! gonta gentleman!" the huge guy worriedly puts his hands up. i'm pretty sure he's about to tear up. his tone is so soft, too. damn, that subverted my expectations. "please put gun down!"

i sigh, carefully lowering the megaphone. "it wouldn't work anywa…" and then i see it. "th… the wristband!" i point to the huge guy's bracelet, tightly embracing his wrist, just like mine. it's the same, with a red monokuma eye

"huh? a captive?..." fuyuhiko mutters and the hunch strikes again. see, that's what i mean! he's… he's much sharper than i give him credit for! i didn't share my deduction from before at all and he figured it out, anyway! i-i mean, it's still only an assumption, but-

"same bracelet! you and gonta! gonta thought he lonely..." the big guy smiles with relief, finally connecting the dots. he, on the other side, seems a little slower, but he does have a cute smile and seems like a nice person. it isn't acting. i nod quickly, knowing we have to move it. both in talk and physically forward, before some new monokumas spot us.

"hey, uh… gonta, listen… before you got the bracelet…" he stares at me with these curious eyes, as if i were an interesting insect. hell, me and hiko probably look like one from far above. we have eight limbs total now, plus we're like, five feet two inches max. "did you talk with the kids with colorful hair? did you talk with monaca?"

he flinches at the name and my heart accelerates.

"y-yes, meet bad children! they not nice… they put bracelet on… and call gonta demon!..."

i wave my hand encouragingly, tone soft. i have to work with him like i would with a kid, but that's okay. everyone's got their coping mechanism. "and before, what do you remember?..."

"a smelly boy… and before that, the town in riot… gonta escape from his apartment and see monokumas!... gonta not know what this city is… not seen it at all, always sitting in his room!..." his big hands begin to tremble and he entwines his own fingers to calm down. "gonta not see well because lost his glasses, but he do his best to destroy bad bears!..."

my head is spinning. the captives /are/ the ones with bracelets, directly confronting the warriors of hope!

"w-what about the gun?" i point to my megaphone. "do you have it?"

he shakes his head, upset with himself. "gonta use to have it, but he squished it…"

...well, i certainly can believe that. he could squish my fucking face with his bear palm.

but now, all the pieces are in place! the captives are made special targets and they are equipped with hacking guns… so maki also /is/ a captive, just she apparently didn't lose her gun, which i sorta pity. but god, i was right about all this bullshit!... the feeling of euphoria is sour and terrifying. plus, i still feel like i'm forgetting something about hiko…

"it's all good, gonta! you survived without the gun, so you're doing great!" i smile brightly and the green haired manboy answers with a glad, grateful grin. before he can answer, i continue. "me and my friend are going to the bridge to escape from the city. you should come with us!"

fuyuhiko shrugs under me and i give him a pinch so he remains quiet. we literally have the bridge in sight now, we can handle it. plus, we should help other captives if we can. wasn't that future foundation's mission, anyway?

yeah, that… that's the point. and not the fact i care.

"of course, gonta go with friends! gonta strong, can help! been looking for way out town, too!" he pushes his chest forward. i clap my hands with actual relief.

"aww, i'm so glad!..."

"also… why tiny purple friend on top of tiny yellow friend?..."

i almost snort, hearing fuyuhiko inhaling deeply. i can't help but play along.

"i hurt my legs, so i can't walk! tiny yellow friend helps me!-"

"well, tiny purple friend, how about /gonta/ helps you out for a bit instead? i'm getting kinda worn out." fuyuhiko peeks at me with a smirk, a vengeful spark in his eye. i want to spit in his fucking face, but gonta answers before me.

"yes!!! gonta carry tiny purple friend through the bridge!!!"

"fuck you, dipshit!" i whisper to the blonde as green haired carefully reaches out for me. fuyuhiko is having a blast, grinning and whispering back:

"have a nice ride, bitch!"

\---

"/hell/ i'm having a nice ride! eat my fucking toes, hiko!" i snort, but then panically strengthten my grip on gonta's back. up there, i feel like i'm immortal and all, but then he turns and i have to hold on for dear life.

fuyuhiko barely keeps up with him, so i can easily see his disappointed expression if i only look aside. i can't help but make faces at him. kuzuryu just groans and rolls his eyes, to which i chuckle. team ouma is victorious yet again!

and not like fuyuhiko is too hurt, either. when he doesn't make eye contact with me and focuses on running and dodging obstacles, he seems almost relaxed. he looks so graceful and professional… damn, i feel kind of bad for slowing him down. which is bullshit! genocider jack cut my legs, it's basically his fault!

there aren't many monokumas present, but even if they appear, fuyuhiko easily slices them up with his katana. me and gonta don't have to do a thing.

"wow! tiny yellow friend so good with sword!" 

fuyuhiko visibly bites his tongue not to say something mean. he forces a light, sour smile, knowing i'm laughing my ass off on the inside.

"you can call me fuyuhiko, gonta."

"ohh, tiny 'winter prince'! how pretty!" i can't help a loud sneer this time, my ally just looks so done! it's so funny how everything just turns against him, i don't even have to take part in that!

since our pace got better by like, two hundred percent, we arrive at the bridge in no-time. as soon as we carefully step on it, gonta stumbles. i squeal, gripping his shirt.

"b-bridge not too good…" gonta looks at me sorrily. fuyuhiko nods, sighing.

"that… was a bit of an overreaction, but he's right. the bridge /is/ unstable. we should either hurry, or turn back." he stares at me. gonta also seems to be waiting.

ugh, welcome to natural leader world. everyone counts on your ass to make boring decisions!

i quickly peek to the sides. no boats on the shore, other bridges in sight are either already destroyed or in even worse condition. this one is the luckiest of all. /we/ are the luckiest we arrived at this one.

"we have to give it a shot." i nod, bracing myself. "let's go, gonta!"

he grins brightly. "yeah!!! gonta, kokichi and tiny winter prince against the world!!!"

"he had no problem with /your/ name somehow?" fuyuhiko mutters and i poke my tongue out at him. he looks ready to slap me.

we move forward in three, keeping up the previous pace. not much to say, other than a bridge with only a bunch of silent cars looks so weird… i never was on a bridge like that outside the school bus.

the further we go, the more of that regular, piercing sound appears in my ears… it has to be stress, ugh! like it indicates something horrible will!-

"let's playy!"

oh shit- so many monokumas appear on top of vehicles behind our backs, /now/, when we're so close? they're wearing weird gear and keep throwing something… but not at us. most of these are aimed at the bridge itself.

"watch it!" fuyuhiko slaps one of these things away with his sword, as if using a baseball bat. the thing explodes in the air far above our heads, but i still feel the heat- and a small, but sharp burn on my shoulder. i flinch, realizing it's a miracle i didn't lose an eye.

a-are these-

"grenades?!" i curse. "they have goddamn bomber monokumas now?!"

"why the fuck are you stalling, try to shoot the tanks on their backs!" fuyuhiko screams. gonta stumbles again and i almost fall off. it's harsher this time, because he stops.

"the bridge gonna fall!" gonta looks at me forcelessly. "gonta can't carry more forward!"

"he may feel more than we do." fuyuhiko nods at me, turning around. "we have to run back!"

"back?!" i shake my head, watching the robots who keep bombarding the bridge, cutting off our way to the city. now even i can feel that rumble and the construction screaming. "they have fucking grenades! we're gonna be in pieces!"

"don't worry! gonta help!" much more serious than before, the green haired manboy picks up a protesting fuyuhiko, and throws him onto his back next to me. i allow myself to be honest again, sending him a terrified glance. fuyuhiko frowns, holding his sword aside, ready to push bombs away if necessary.

"like i said, aim at the tanks, kokichi. they have to wear them for a reason, probably stock some explosive bullshit inside. if you get rid of one, you'll get rid of many. just fucking do it!"

i take a sharp inhale, holding my gun tight over the other gonta shoulder.

before i can say anything, the huge guy speeds forward.

it's a mess, an absolute massacre. bombs, monokumas, pieces of concrete and asphalt… i see holes show up in the bridge and the cars begin to slip into water. in what, ten seconds? twenty? the thing is a total mess. i barely aim at a few robots, but like hiko said - that's absolutely enough… except the fact that their destruction still creates explosions, that weaken the bridge even more.

"shit!-" fuyuhiko curses suddenly, absolutely terrified, and i stare where he does. one of the grenades lays right in front of us, thrown away from fuyuhiko's reach. he wasn't even able to send it off, that's how it was planted. my heart stops.

apparently, gonta doesn't think this should be our end.

he speeds up even more, leaps as far from the grenade as he can, it's less than a a split second. and then, h-he fucking…

he somehow… manages to turn around and keep us two sheltered, close to his chest, protectively hunched back turned at the explosion.

i think i scream his name in the moment the grenade blows up.

"oh my god." i feel my throat dry. my hands feel numb, they're shaking, i almost drop my hacking gun. my ears feel dead, i'm panically touching around my head- n-no, i can still hear shit, i'm just in shock. "GONTA!"

"gonta fine!" the big guy chuckles, but i can tell he's faking that smile, standing up straight. how does he even do that, it's just beyond me. "just scratch!"

"that was more than just a fucking scratch! you're some sort of beast!" fuyuhiko spits uncovering his ears, then attempts to look at gonta's back over his shoulder. when he turns to me, i send him a questioning stare and begin to lean to peek, too. fuyuhiko seriously shakes his head, staring me in the eyes. i swallow thickly and stay in place, like paralyzed.

fortunately, that was the last line of monokumas. they're no more. i can't… do anything anymore. not like i could do much from the start.

like a small, numb child, i allow gonta to carry me forward, sound of crumbling bridge thrusting into my brain and an echo of that explosion haunting me.

\---

"oh my god." i feel some granola crawl up my throat.

"yeah, i told you. don't look. go find some gacha and shoot it, until you find some meds. your legs should be usable by now." fuyuhiko instructs and i nod obediently, then stiffly turn away from shirtless gonta, currently laying on his stomach on the ground.

it really is more than a scratch. i-it's not /macabric/, but it's still more burnt human flesh than i ever wanted to see.

as fast as i can, i throttle down the silent street, still so unused to seeing dead bodies, just casually laying everywhere. no more bears, as if their spawn was over. for now. i should hurry. other good news is, my legs really seem to be doing better…

i find a fair amount of machines and shoot every single one. there's some bullet pendrives, there's some food and water again… and, there's a spray with a monokuma face on top of it. i read the label:

'miracle monofoam! for soothing all, smaller and bigger burns! just spray on top of burnt skin and the effect will show up within twenty minutes!'

"i fucking hate you." i mutter to the printed monokuma maw, then push the foam into my pocket.

when i'm back, everything lays just the way i left it. after dropping food nearby on the sidewalk, i throw the spray to fuyuhiko. he catches it no problem and reads the label. he sends me a small, bitter smile.

i watch him treat gonta. his back is so big, that hiko surely uses the majority of the small spray can. meanwhile, i sit by him and occupy myself encouraging the big guy to eat and drink. he refuses.

"...but gonta have request." he looks at me, gentle, red eyes so kind. even though he has to be hurting so much. "can kokichi tie gonta's hair?"

i peek at his long mane, laying aside on the ground and nod without a word. my throat is too fucking tight.

i search my pockets more thoroughly and find two lone rubber bands. my hands are still trembling. when i feel a palm hand on my shoulder, it almost makes me tear up.

"it's okay." fuyuhiko takes the rubber bands from me and kneels next to that green storm of hair. "i'll do it."

i just nod again and move a little bit aside. i can't… do anything. not now.

even if he doesn't have a brush, fuyuhiko ably combs the hair a bit with his fingers, then proceeds to do a thing. a thick, pretty braid. it looks majestic with the amount of hair gonta has.

"damn, you're good at this." i mutter and fuyuhiko smiles a bit, eyes on his work.

"i used to braid peko's hair for a long while. she still likes when i do it sometimes."

i want to throw a comment about my own hair needing a stylist, but i'm really not in the mood.

there's silence for a while. and then, gonta speaks up.

"...you friends like bugs?"

i look at fuyuhiko, he moves his shoulders. 'do what you want'. ugh, fine. i will do what the fuck i want - i'll be sincere.

"...honestly? i'm scared of most of them, because my classmates liked to put them in my clothes." i pull my knees to my chest. "but i always liked caterpillars, much more than butterflies. they were always so peaceful and didn't give a damn about others. they were just doing their best to evolve into something pretty. and i liked their little, squishy legs."

"seriously? i like butterflies better. especially fluffy moths." fuyuhiko frowns with a little smile. "they annoyed me when i was small, but… lately, one guy showed me how powerful a moth can be. with its faith and will. even when everyone tells it it doesn't make sense and it should just drop back into darkness, it pushes towards the light."

"funny… both moths and caterpillars cute." gonta gives us a soft smile. "they're different, but are the same kind. like you two! you just like your bugs!"

"eh?-"  
"what?!-"

"ugh, are you kidding mee?" i puff up my cheeks, speaking as first. "i'm some green jelly, while hiko can fly and shit?"

fuyuhiko smirks. "i thought you liked caterpillars?"

"i do, but i obviously don't wanna /be/ one!"

"aww!" gonta cooes with a glow in his eyes. "kokichi tiny, squishy, green friend!"

i whine. "no, i'm not!"

we laugh it off, but… there's that annoying, weird piece of truth in it. in how fuyuhiko is an adult moth, while i'm still just a green, crawling thing. i don't even fucking know how much time is left before i get to prepare my cocoon. or perhaps i'm not planning that at all?

...whatever, ugh. it's… just a coincidence. it's just gonta. nothing to worry about.

nothing… serious to consider.


End file.
